I can see the hurt in Ant. Bubbling up inside. He opens his mouth to speak but words don’t come. He gulps back a sob.
I take the lead this time.
“Goodbye, Ant.”
I take the bracelet off my wrist and place it on the hall table, followed by my necklace.
And then I leave with Gerwyn, closing the door on Ant’s sobbing.
Gerwyn loads my case in the car and helps me into my seat.
“Bucklebury?” Gerwyn asks, and I smile as I take his hand.
“Yes, please. I hope you’ll enjoy it there as much as I do.”
“I’m sure I will,” he says. “Let’s go find out, shall we?”
I don’t even shoot the house a backwards glance as we drive away.
Cass
Eight Months Later
I stare at my mum, and she’s open mouthed.
“It’s time? Really time?!” she asks, and I nod, breathing through the pain with a smile on my face, waters having rushed all down my legs upstairs.
“Yeah, it’s definitely time.”
The contractions are hitting hard, and I’m scared and excited, grinning through the pain.
Mum grabs her phone in a fluster.
She clicks to call Gerwyn while I brace myself against the banister.
“It’s happening! Now, yes! Now! See you there!”
She shouts Dad in from the garden and they help me out to the car. Mum is in the back seat with me, clutching my hand all the way.
The roads are pretty clear for a Friday afternoon, lucky for us. I’m grimacing at another contraction as we pull up in a bay at the maternity ward of Reading hospital. They are ready to greet me with a wheelchair.
And so is Gerwyn.
His hurries over to take my weight from my mum. He’s smiling as brightly as I am, still in his suit from his virtual call.
“Sorry,” I say to him, with gasps. “I know it was a big one.”
He was on a major online investor meeting with the ambassadors of G.A.T.A. this afternoon, but he shakes his head with another smile.
“Richard took over. He sends his best.”
I’ve met Richard several times now. He’s a great guy, and an even closer friend to Gerwyn now that they work together. Seeing Gerwyn receive his job offer from G.A.T.A. was one of the greatest experiences of my life. And here comes another… An experience I’ve been waiting eight months for…
Gerwyn’s hand is firmly in mine as he helps me up onto the bed. The nurses get me wired up, ready for the full force of labour to hit me.
Mum is with us, buzzing with excitement, both her and Gerwyn ready to support me.
Gerwyn puts a hand on my shoulder while I squeeze his other. I must be close to breaking his fingers, I’m crushing them so tight, because oww… fuck, it hurts…
Mum fills Sarah and Michelle in on the phone between my contractions. She gives Janie a call straight after, and I hear Janie’s squeal from over the handset. Let me know if it’s a boy or a girl! As soon as you can!
Bucklebury has been so supportive, and so has she. Everyone has been on my side and helping me back on my feet through the hurt, and the shock and the horror, giving me all the love they can give me.
And giving Gerwyn all the love they can give him, too.
I wish he’d have moved into Mum and Dad’s with me, but no. He wanted to be much more gentlemanly than that.
Mum’s friend had an apartment to let in the High Street, and that’s where he’s been while I’ve been back in my old bedroom through the summer. It hasn’t stopped us spending every minute we can together, though. He’s been with me through pizza nights, and movie evenings, with enough laughter between us to last a lifetime. A friend unlike any other I’ve ever known.
That’s what we’ve been, though. Friends.
Gerwyn’s been very determined on waiting until I’m absolutely ready. Until I’m sure. Until the past has healed enough for me to start over at the very right time.
It’s been very much the very right time for me for months, but still. He’s still being a gentleman.
The greatest gentleman there could be. And hopefully soon, my gentleman of a boyfriend.
I cry out at another wave of a contraction, sure I really am going to bust his fingers with a squeeze this time.
He encourages me to push through it, and so does Mum along with the midwife.
My body doesn’t think I can take it at points, with groans, and cries as I let nature run free. But I keep going, wanting nothing more than to meet my baby.
“That’s it,” the midwife says. “Almost there… almost…”
Fuck, it hurts. I cry out and give the push everything I’ve got, with Gerwyn and Mum encouraging me, and here it comes… here it comes…
My God, my soul explodes at the sound of the cry as my baby takes its first breath. The most primal joy there could ever be.