My reply is a simple one.
I need to see you as soon as possible. Don’t believe a single word Ant says. You have nothing to be sorry for. Be careful, Cass.
I click send and I hope she sees it. If I had access to the Nevilles calendar, I’d check out Ant’s appointments and movements, but they’ve already blocked me from their system, so I’ll have to check things out first hand.
As soon as I’m capable of driving again I head back to Newton Road, but this time I take a detour via the hills, glancing up at the house on my way past. Ant’s car is on the driveway, so I keep on going.
It’ll be a long, long night ahead.
I let myself into Cass’s place, without a hope in hell that I’ll sleep. I focus on my campaigning with everything I’ve got, my passion for standing up against abuse and coercion at its peak. I despise everything a person like Ant stands for. I’m offended by my own inability to see what he was doing, being so close to him for all these years, but that only demonstrates Ant’s prowess all the more. I don’t want to imagine the amount of people he’s destroyed in his wake, making himself out to be the saint while they were the sinner.
I work all night at my laptop, checking emails constantly. No reply from Cass. The hours are slow. The minutes are long.
I’m exhausted by the time sunrise comes, but my adrenaline is still serving me strong. I grab a shower and a strong coffee to wake myself up, then set off for the drive. I pull in at one of the hill walk car parks, on the opposite side of the range, and then I walk the rest of the way.
It takes me almost an hour to get to Ant’s place. I feel like a criminal as I position myself at the back of one of the hedgerows at the side entrance, but I don’t care. I wait.
It’s just gone eight a.m. when the front door opens and Ant steps out. I let out a breath of relief as he waves goodbye to Cass and sets off. The gates swing open and let him out, and I watch him drive away.
I don’t waste any time. As soon as he’s out of view I hitch myself over the nearest wall, adrenaline still holding strong, since it’s quite a bloody ascent and I’m hardly a rock climber. I really do feel like a criminal now as I keep myself pressed tight to the side of the house, trying to avoid the security camera. I choose the side door over the front, since it’s a safer option.
The door is locked when I try the handle, so I tap, but that doesn’t draw any attention. I knock louder, but she still doesn’t hear me.
Shit.
I venture around to the back, but get no luck there. The back terrace is locked up tight and there’s no sign of her. I ask myself what a burglar would do, then realise I don’t give a fuck what a burglar would do. I’m sure as hell not one.
I pull myself into line, because sneaking around can go fuck itself. With that, I march straight around and walk up to the front door, where I ring the damn bell. My shirt looks ragged from wall climbing, and my eyes must be dark ringed from being up all night, but I don’t even bother brushing myself down. All I care about is seeing Cass.
I feel so nervous, because this will be it – make or break. Ant could have the police on me in minutes and spin them whatever bullshit he wanted to, and they’d most likely believe him. Just like everyone else on the planet.
Come on, Cass. Please.
I ring the bell again, and keep my finger on it this time. One long buzz of desperation. It’s still ringing loud as the door opens just a crack, and Cass’s eyes meet mine.
Her stare is as tired as mine is, but the sight of me wakes her up in a flash.
“Gerwyn?!”
Her eyes open wide like she can hardly believe it.
“Oh my God, Gerwyn. It’s you!”
She swings the door open and launches herself into my arms, and I hold her tight. Her hair is as messy as mine and I’m sure she’s had sleepless nights, just like me.
We stand there in each other’s arms, in silent relief, both of us breathing into the contact like it’s heaven on earth.
“Are you alright?” I ask her, but her tears say it all. She shakes her head before she can talk.
“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I should never have done it. It was all my fault!”
I take her by the shoulders, easing far enough away that I can look her right in the eye.