“No, it can be real. I’m feeling it too!” I say, determined to put him at ease. “I’m feeling great. With you, with this, with everything.”
He laughs a little. “Feeling good enough that you want to be a part of my filthy sex needs, are you?”
I laugh back. “Maybe someday, hey?”
I notice the tension in his shoulders. His face is a lot more serious when he arrives back at the bed and hands me my drink.
“I’m not joking,” he says, “I only want to be your partner if I can give you what you need, and vice versa. I understand that you want to find a husband to have a family with. If that can’t be me because of the man I am, then I want you to find someone who’s right for you. You deserve nothing less.”
It’s so insanely heavy and beautiful, talking about being together like this. The dreamer in me is screaming, desperate to be the woman he wants me to be.
“We can give each other what we need,” I tell him.
“Are you sure? Do you really think you want to be with me?” he asks. “Is this going to be the start of something more?”
My answer is vulnerable, but true.
“That’s definitely what I want. More than anything else in the world right now, I want to be with you.”
He runs his fingers up my arm, and I close my eyes, savouring his touch. The idea of being a woman in one of those videos is enough to give me weird flutters. I can still picture her so clearly, spread wide and taking it however those guys wanted to give it, but although it looked extreme, the thought of being in her place doesn’t feel out of bounds to me. Not when it’s Ant who’ll be the one wanting it.
His smile lightens and he squeezes my elbow.
“Let’s get started on the something more between us, shall we? What are you doing today?”
I shrug, since I’ve nothing in my diary other than regular catch up calls with people and unpacking boxes in my new place.
“Nothing planned.”
“How about we spend a nothing planned day together?”
“I love the thought of a nothing planned day together.” I smile back at him.
“How about a nothing planned night together, too?”
“Sounds amazing. Even though my pussy is pretty sore, as well as my ass.”
He laughs and his smile is divine. “Don’t worry. I won’t push too hard. We can stay here, or I’ll book us a suite at Hanley Hall, or at Camston Manor, or wherever you want. Your choice, baby. Tell me what would make you happy.”
I’m still contemplating my options when he speaks again.
“Or I could show you my place?”
I know my answer as soon as he offers.
“Your place sounds great. I’d love to see it.”
“You don’t even know where it is yet,” he laughs.
“I don’t need to. It’s where I want to be.”
I’ve no idea where Ant might live and I don’t care. He could live in a bedsit, or in a mansion in Hanley. It wouldn’t make any difference to me, just as long as he was giving me that smile. Somehow, I don’t think a man like Anthony Bradstone lives in a bedsit, though.
I’m dressed casually in jeans and a cami top when we get ready to leave, my hair slightly ruffled while he’s still suited like a gentleman. He carries my case down to reception, and has his hand on my lower back every step of the way. It’s the kind of unspoken she’s mine statement that drives me crazy. I love it.
“You ok to follow me in your car?” he asks when we get outside.
“Yeah, just don’t zoom off too fast in your Audi, please. My poor little Mini won’t keep up with you.”
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll keep you in view all the way.”
He isn’t lying. I know he’s looking at me with every turn in the road, making sure I’m up close behind him. We take the country route past Worcester, back towards Malvern, and I wonder how close he lives to my apartment. Maybe he actually lives in the town. But no. We take the road towards Colwall and he takes a turn off to the right, climbing a steep slope at the side of the Malvern Hills.
I should have known it. I should have guessed the moment we passed through Malvern. He owns one of the places up high on the north side, and wow, it’s the huge new build I’ve looked up at so many times in passing since I moved here. A red brick and timber house with stunning windowed walls out on the front.
The electric gates swing open and I pull up alongside him on the gravelled drive.
“Whoa! This is amazing. How long have you lived here?” I ask, surveying the incredible views as he takes my case from the Mini.