Again, I tell myself that I’m probably being paranoid.
Maybe the situation upstairs tonight really was a simple case of too much champagne, with Cass bailing out when she needed to. But no. She flinches when she hears movement, obviously hating the sound of chatter echoing through the house as the guys come downstairs. There’s no way she wanted to fuck them up there, no matter how hard she tries to convince herself.
The thought of them taking advantage of her makes me want to chase after them and condemn them to hell, but I stay on the sofa, focusing on Cass.
There’s no sign of Ant when the front door closes behind the visitors. I watch their cars disappear from the drive through the windows before I get up to my feet again and hold out a hand.
“Ok, let’s go get coffee.”
She nods and takes my fingers in hers. “And cake, too.”
There’s still no sign of Ant when I get the coffee machine fired up. Cass looks a lot more composed as she spins a little on the barstool, admiring the cake in the box. I smile as I get a few plates out and offer a knife to her. My congratulations sound weak when she cuts a slice, but I do still mean them. If Ant and Cass are truly in love and committed to each other, that’s worth everything.
Just so long as he loves her for her, and not the woman he expects her to be.
We are clinking coffee mugs with another hip, hip hooray when Ant reappears. He’s exceptionally on form as he joins us at the kitchen counter and doesn’t grimace in the slightest as he sees the size of the slice of cake on Cass’s plate.
“Fancy some?” she asks him, and he laughs.
“I fancy getting you up for sleepy time, not having a mega hit of sugar before bed.”
His humour is alive and real, but there is no bitterness or sarcasm in it right now. I know I’m glaring at him, despite trying to hide it, but he doesn’t react, just pulls her in for a kiss.
It’s him who addresses the tension between us.
“Thanks for that, Ger. It’s nice to know you are so protective of my fiancée. The last thing I’d ever want is for her to feel uncomfortable, so it’s a lovely thing to know you’re ready to defend her whenever she might need a friend.”
I don’t know what the hell he wants me to say, but it definitely isn’t going to be you’re welcome, as though it’s him I’ve looked out for rather than her.
Ant smiles at me like he’s a hero and I’m his sidekick, both of us out for the greater good, but I’m not feeling it.
“It’s one of the reasons you’re going to be my best man,” he tells me, like a reward. “I know we can always rely on you. Both me and Cass.”
Cass smiles along with him, and the enthusiasm in her grin moves me way more than Ant’s words. She finishes her slice of cake and licks her fingers with another thanks for me before downing the rest of her coffee – a lot more sober now.
“Head on up, sweetheart,” Ant tells her. “Get yourself cosy and I’ll be on up to join you. Just want to get a few things cleared up down here.”
She seems too tired to argue, even after caffeine and cake, so does what she’s told. She slips off the barstool and I’m about to say my goodnight as she passes, except she doesn’t walk on by. She stops and hugs me, nice and tight.
“Night, Gerwyn. See you in the morning.”
“Night, Cass. Sleep well.”
Her smile is so easy and natural with me. I watch her walk away and head upstairs before I turn back to face Ant, only to find his stare is like razor wire alongside his smile.
“I mean it, Ger,” he tells me. “It’s great to see how strongly you care about my fiancée. You have great affection for her, that much is obvious.”
There’s a barb in his words, but I don’t respond to it, just eat another forkful of cake before I reply.
“It’s not just because it’s Cass. I’d care about anyone in her position.”
“In what position exactly?”
I don’t back down from him.
“In the position of telling themselves they want to do things they don’t really want to do.”
“Hmm, ok. You think Cass is lying to herself about wanting to get filthy with strangers? And lying to me in the process? I’d certainly hope not.”
Even now, he manages to flip the tone so it’s about Cass being the one who’s lying. To him.
“I’m not sure what I think about anything right now,” I admit. “You should be a lot more aware of what Cass does and doesn’t want than I am.”
“And I am a lot more aware of what Cass does and doesn’t want than you are. This isn’t about her right now, it’s about you and me.” He pauses. “So, cut the crap and spit it out, crusader. Speak what’s on your mind.”