He moves his cock to my ass and it hurts so much I cry out.
“Want to call time out? Am I too much for you?” he asks, but I shake my head.
“No.”
“Good,” he says. “Because whatever I ask you to take for me, having a baby for us is going to hurt a whole lot worse. Remember that whenever it feels like it’s getting too much.”
He fucks me harder, and I take it. I moan and I buck and I give him my body however he wants me to give it, and that’s fine…
It’s just the rest of it.
I hope I can give up the job I love just as easily… but handing in my resignation and saying goodbye to my career is going to hurt a whole lot more than taking cock.
No matter how many of them he has lined up for me.
“I’ll help you,” he says, slamming his cock deep.
He lifts my legs back, pins my knees to my chest, and the green of his eyes is so bright.
He slams deep again. “I’ll help you with your resignation letter, Cass. And soon it will just be you and me.”
He fucks me hard and fast. My mind is reeling to match my frantic pussy.
“Come for me, baby,” he says, his pace unrelenting.
And I do. I’m coming so hard it’s unreal.
“Fuck,” he says and his body tenses as he unloads inside me. “I love you, baby. I love you so fucking much.”
Cass
I have the resignation letter written and in my drafts folder. I composed it last night with Ant smiling behind me, his chin resting on my shoulder, watching my words as I typed.
Hit send, he told me, but I held back, saying I need to pick the right moment. But, it’ll be soon, I told him. Don’t worry. It’ll be soon.
Now I’m pulling up to the office, my head and heart still reeling from yesterday’s crazy revelations, I’m not sure when that right moment will be.
Janie is worried when I step inside, trying to make sure I’m ok after being ill. I back out of yoga, but say that no, it’s ok, I don’t need to head back home. I feel sick and shit and nervous as hell, but home is the last place I want to be right now.
I want normality, and people, and my work day ahead of me. I want laughter with Janie and dreams of people’s big days, and chatter about floral bouquets and table decor.
Ant’s message pings through at just gone ten.
Have you sent it yet?
Jesus Christ.
Not yet. Got appointments all morning.
He doesn’t reply. Hopefully it’s because he’s got appointments all morning of his own, and not because he’s pissed off at me. Fuck it, though, because how can I argue with him? Knowing what I know now about his background and how his mum treated him, how can I possibly take his dreams away when he’s doing his best to live up to mine?
I click on my drafts folder and there it is. The resignation letter, ready to send. But I don’t do it.
We have appointments with Alexandra, and Kristie, and a new client called Mel. I throw myself into them with everything I’ve got, desperate for the interactions to suck my mind away from my drafts folder, and it works. At least some of the time it’s enough to keep the normality around me feeling alive.
“You sure you’re ok?” Janie asks at lunchtime, and I smile a fake smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine now, why?”
She shrugs. “You just seem a bit… weird. Has something happened?”
Again, the temptation is so strong. I want to explode like a shaken-up bottle of De Chante as the cork pops free, spilling out the secrets beneath the surface. I look at her, and see the genuine concern in her eyes, and I want to speak, but I can’t. My words would choke in my throat, forbidden.
“I’m alright,” I say with another fake smile. “It’s just a bit crazy at home, with Ant and Gerwyn moving back to the UK, back and forth all the time. It’s hard to keep up.”
The name Gerwyn is enough to distract her. Her smile is the opposite of my fake one.
“When is he back? Do you think we could do another night out?”
“Next Monday, I think,” I tell her. “And I hope so. Maybe next week?”
I do hope so. Having us all together having fun again would be amazing, but I can’t deny that what I want more than anything is another pizza night with me and Gerwyn at ease on the sofa. I’d love to hear his view on what’s really going on with me and Ant, and get some advice on what the hell I should do about it, because in truth, I just don’t know.
How can I ask Gerwyn, though? How can I risk his trust and confidence by asking him questions about my boyfriend behind his back?