“I should tell him, really,” I say, but she shakes her head again.
“No, please don’t! Ant opens up about things when he wants to. I don’t want to put pressure on him before he’s ready, especially with something like this. I’m just surprised you know anything, because he’s always saying that business is business and pleasure is pleasure, so it’s weird to think you know him so well.”
I nod. “I know more than most people, but not all that much. He’s quite a closed book on a lot of fronts.”
“Yeah, I’m finding that out pretty quickly, don’t worry.”
I feel like an idiot for my presumptions. Ant certainly only opens up about things when he wants to. The rest of the time he keeps his secrets locked up in castle turrets with a drawbridge made of fire. I’d have thought he’d have let her in further than that by now, but shit, that’s my bad.
“You aren’t going to tell him, are you?” she asks me. “Please, I’d be really, really happy if you didn’t. It would only freak him out and cause shit.”
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, unsure whether I should give priority to Cass’s request to hide my fuck up, or come clean to Ant and confess right off the mark, but luckily I don’t have to make the call the second he joins us, as he paces through to the kitchen quickly enough to see Cass pulling her hand from mine.
“Best buddies holding hands and drinking coffee already? That’s quite something,” he jokes, not in the least bit intimidated that he caught me holding his girlfriend’s hand.
Cass laughs. “Gerwyn was just telling me how grateful he is to be here. I said he’s very welcome.”
“I am very grateful,” I say to both of them. “I’m lucky to be here.”
Ant slaps me on the shoulder with a friendly smile, and I feel like more of a Judas than ever.
“No problem, Ger. We’re pleased to have you.” He smiles at Cass straight after me. “Time to get moving then, besties, chop-chop, hey? Hanley Hall is beckoning.”
One glance at the clock on the wall confirms that we’re well behind schedule. I’ll barely have the chance to have a shower.
I switch from hot water to cold as soon as I’m in my ensuite, determined to wake myself up and get with it. I grab one of my favourite shirts from the wardrobe and pull on a fresh pair of boxers and chinos, checking I look presentable enough for Hanley Hall in the mirror before heading back downstairs.
Ant’s already dressed and in the living room, alone as he checks out figures on his laptop.
“You alright?” he asks me. “Ready to meet your future soulmate?”
I’m thinking of confessing that I’ve fucked up and told Cass about his alcohol problem, and maybe I would do if his eyes didn’t light up and fix on the stairs behind me. I don’t need to turn around to know the love of his life is on her way down. Ant’s grin is a beautiful thing to see.
“Hey,” Cass says when she joins us, and it’s another night of dressed up glamour for her.
She’s wearing a deep purple dress and another pair of stilettos, with her hair plaited and twisted up high. It makes her neck and collarbones stand out like she’s a movie star.
Ant’s love of her is so obviously profound that I forgive myself for forgetting just how short a time they’ve been together. They look set for all time as he gets up from the couch and takes her hands in his.
“You look beautiful, baby. Beautiful,” he says, and kisses her cheek.
I feel like an awkward fool, since that kind of complimentary praise has never come all that naturally to me.
“You do, Cass,” I offer. “You look great.”
She laughs that cute laugh of hers and grabs my arm at the same time she grabs hold of Ant’s. She beams up at me like a true friend, trotting along between us with the same stiletto bounce I saw at Finn’s party, all tension of earlier pushed aside.
“If you think I look great, just wait until you see Janie,” she tells me. “She’s going to blow you away.”
The girl called Janie would have to be a very beautiful woman to live up to Cass on that score, so I won’t be holding my breath.
Gerwyn
I’m in the back seat when Janie dashes out of a house on St. Michael Street and slips into the seat beside me. She gives Cass a girly hey and then turns her attention to me.
“Hi, Gerwyn. Really great to meet you.”
“You too, Janie. You too.”
It’s when Ant raises his hand from the front in a salute to her that I realise he can’t have met Cass’s friend either. Janie looks visibly nervous when she hears his voice saying hi, and her reply with a high-pitched hey makes her sound very young compared to him. She is, though. Ant must be over twice her age.