Manning fisted his hair, then turned to look through the window. Through me. I’d hesitated too long over whether to stay, but Manning didn’t waste a second. He started toward the house.
I flipped off the faucet. I hadn’t remembered washing my hands, but of course I’d known, somewhere inside, that I wouldn’t leave Blue to do this on her own. I didn’t want to, not really.
I dried my hands on a dishtowel as Manning came through the screen door. “I’ve been calling you,” he said.
“I turned off my phone this afternoon.”
“I hate when you do that.”
“I had a lot of work to catch up on,” I said. “The faster I get it done, the faster I can come home. Interruptions slow me down.”
He crossed his arms. “Some interruptions are worth it.”
He wasn’t happy with me, and I didn’t blame him. These past couple months, though, knowing I was in the wrong hadn’t motivated me to change my attitude. Life continued to test us. After some bad news from my doctor, I couldn’t muster any excitement about someone else’s pregnancy—not even my dog’s.
“I know you’re still angry at me,” Manning continued, “but she’s in labor. She needs you.”
My throat thickened the way it had moments ago when I’d come into an empty house and felt the shift. I’d been expecting it anyway, considering Blue had lost her appetite days ago.
She needs you.
Blue had needed me for a while, and I’d failed her during her entire pregnancy. I had a choice—go outside and face the truth, or turn and walk away. The latter was much easier, but it was what I’d been doing the past few weeks, and my mood hadn’t improved.
“I’ll get my things,” I said.
“I tried to get her to come in the guest bathroom. I set up a box with clean towels and shredded cardboard like you told me, but I couldn’t get her to move.”
“She’s never spent any time in there. That’s not where she’s comfortable.”
“You might’ve mentioned that weeks ago when you saw me getting it ready.” He stuck his cell in his back pocket. “Is she okay out in the stable?”
“She’s an animal, Manning. If her instinct is to be there, then she’s fine. You can move the box outside.” I turned to leave the room. “And grab a flashlight or something. It’ll be dark soon.”
I got the whelping kit I’d stocked from a shelf in the garage. Even though Manning had been on edge about everything—the pregnancy, the birth, and what we’d do with the litter—I hadn’t mentioned that I’d been preparing.
I went out back to the nearly finished stable, where Manning leaned in one of the stalls. He’d brought the whelping bed with him, but Blue had already created a nest of hay in one corner, where she lay panting on her side.
“She looks uncomfortable,” Manning said as I moved around him.
“Well, she’s in labor.”
I took a step toward her. Blue’s eyes shifted to me, but otherwise, she didn’t move, not even to wag her tail. “You all right, Blue girl?”
Manning came up beside me. “What can I do?”
“Just stay back and out of the way,” I replied.
“Hey.” He took my elbow, turning me to face him. “I don’t know why you’re still so angry after this long, but there’s no reason to snap at me.”
He was right as usual. Manning had every reason to be fed up with me. I wasn’t done being upset, though. With my eyes down, I said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to argue in front of Blue. It’ll stress her out.”
Manning released my arm, but his frown stayed with me as I kneeled down. “Hey, girl,” I said, slowly reaching out to see if she’d let me pet her. Her tail twitched, relief in her eyes.
That was all I needed to feel the weight of a guilt I’d been avoiding. Up until now, it’d been easy to make this all about me, but seeing Blue this way meant I’d have to put my own insecurities aside.
I pulled on rubber gloves, thinking back to five weeks earlier when Manning had called me out back because Blue had thrown up twice on their morning walk. I’d taken one look at her pink nipples and swollen belly and turned to a concerned Manning. “She’s pregnant.”
He’d grinned. “Really?”
Looking back, the pregnancy itself irritated me, but it was the excitement in Manning’s voice that’d quickly gotten under my skin. “Yes, really,” I’d said. “I’ve been asking you for months to bring her by the hospital so I could spay her. Who the hell is the sire?”
“How would I know?”
“Jesus, Manning. You’re the one who’s here with her all day.” There were no dogs I knew of in the immediate area. When had Blue even had the opportunity to get knocked up? Manning and I fucked every chance we got and had nothing to show for it but a couple UTIs, a collapsed work table, and an excessive lingerie bill thanks to Manning’s proclivity for ripping lace underwear. I’d shaken my head. “Just—never mind.”