“No,” I said. “I mean, of course I understand how it works given what I do, but I wasn’t keeping track or anything.”
“It’s not a big deal,” he said. “You know I’m ready to go any time, any day, ovulating or not. But sometimes I wonder . . . and I can tell you I’ll be wondering tonight if . . .”
“If what?”
“If we’re conceiving.”
“That’s what you’re thinking about during sex?”
He lowered his head—and his voice. “Whether I’m putting a baby in you? Yeah, sometimes, and it gets me so fucking hot, Lake.”
“Okay, okay,” I said, my face warming as I put my hands on his chest to hold him off. The hunger developing in his eyes told me we were a few moments away from me having to walk into the party ahead of him to shield his crotch. “Let’s pick this up later when we can do something about it.”
“Sooner the better,” he growled in my ear, as if it were some kind of threat.
I shivered, and he slid an arm around my shoulders on our way back to the reception. Anything to do with providing, protecting, or mating, and Manning turned into a caveman. I loved how turned on it made him, but it also shone light on a truth I wasn’t sure I was ready to face—Manning would not accept anything less than a biological baby. What if I couldn’t give him that? What if I couldn’t give myself that? I wanted to raise Manning’s boy into the man his father was, or teach my little girl that she deserved to be treated with all the love and respect her father gave her.
As we rounded the side of the house, we were met with a chorus of suggestive oohs and aahs that made me blush. Normally, presumptions or interest in our sex life from anyone would bother Manning, but he just rolled his eyes and hugged me closer. He’d been in great spirits all weekend. I had to shake this feeling of what if, or I was going to cast a storm cloud over one of the best days of my life.
Kara, Henry’s daughter, stood near a picnic table swinging her newborn side to side in rhythm with the Black Eyed Peas. Her hair was coming loose from its bun, brown strands framing her face. Blue lay at her feet, her ears up as she watched the crowd.
“Lake wanted to meet the baby,” Manning said to Kara as we approached.
Kara smiled. “She’s asleep now, but it’s okay. She’s cuter that way.”
I peered at the rosy-cheeked little girl. “I’m glad you and your husband could make it,” I told Kara.
“Us too. I’d wake her up for you, but she’d make a scene. I haven’t stopped rocking her since we got out of the car.”
“Did you get to eat at least?” I asked.
“A few bites here and there.”
“We’ll have to get you some food.” I squatted to pet Blue. “I hope the dog wasn’t bothering you.”
“Not at all. She’s playing lookout.” Kara bounced as she spoke, pausing to blow a piece of hair out of her eyes. “Our dog does the same thing. When there are people around, she stands near the baby.”
“What kind of dog?” I asked.
“Lab mix. We got her from the pound a few years ago and weren’t sure how she’d do with a baby, but she’s been very protective.”
“They’re great with kids. I help our local shelter place animals, and Labs are always the first request by young families.”
Kara stretched her neck. “They’re easy, and that’s the best you can hope for with a newborn in the house.”
“Why don’t you let me take over,” Manning suggested to Kara, gesturing for the baby. “You look exhausted. Take a break.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Are you sure? It’s not as easy as it looks, trying to keep her moving without waking her.”
I stood, smoothing out my dress. “He’ll be fine. I can take you to get some food.”
“You two are angels,” Kara whispered, stealthily passing Abby to Manning. The newborn looked even smaller and paler in his arms, her pink bow and smooth skin soft against his bronzed forearms. “Thank you.”
He hardly looked up from the little girl as he murmured, “No problem.”
It was possible that the last baby Manning had held was Madison, yet he cradled Kara’s daughter with ease, swaying her side to side. He seemed to have forgotten we were even standing there, completely enamored by a little girl that wasn’t even his own. Kara’s daughter was precious, but I doubted I’d feel that same connection Manning obviously did unless she was mine. Then again, I’d never met anyone who loved as deeply as he did. Maybe Manning was enjoying himself, but I had no doubt he’d be forever changed holding his own child.
As I was about to turn away, Manning glanced up at me. I read what he didn’t say clearly in his eyes. I want one.