Perhaps I am being shown how foolish my actions were. I reach up and stroke her soft cheek, trying to focus on her face and not the enticing teats that press against my chest. “I cannot believe it. You saved me.”
It is the wrong thing to say. She frowns down at me, pulling back. “Of course I did. I wasn’t going to let you drown out there. Do you really think so little of me?”
I want to shake my head, but just the slight movement makes everything ache and I grow dizzy. I close my eyes again, wincing. “I do not. I am just…surprised.”
“Surprised that I don’t totally suck?” She gives my chest a little pat and I cannot tell if she is angry or amused. “Look. It’s been hard for me to re-map my brain after being told for ten years that I’m most useful if I sit around and look pretty, but I am trying, you know. I have been for the last month…not that you’ve paid any attention.”
There’s a wealth of hurt in her voice. Definitely angry.
Unable to stop myself, I slide my tail around her leg and hold her tight, even as I reach for her hand. The need to hold on to her and never let her go is overwhelming. “I have been paying attention,” I admit. “I try not to, because it hurts me to see how beautiful you are and know I cannot have you.”
“Why can’t you? I don’t understand. Why did you push me away?”
Looking back upon it, I feel foolish. “Because I was afraid I would lose you. My mother was always very sad because Juth was taken from her after she gave birth. I saw her sadness and I was afraid for myself. When you got hurt in the fruit cave, it made me remember her pain, and I did not want to experience the same. But now I think the greater pain would be walking away from you.” I take her hand in mine and press my lips to her knuckles. “If you must be soft, I will just work that much harder to take care of you.”
D’see pulls her hand from mine with a quick, angry jerk, and I open my eyes to see her glare at me. “Seriously, O’jek? I’m not completely useless, you know.” She gestures at the fire pit. “I saved you. I made a fire. I bandaged your head. I made tea. I’m learning how to cure skins and how to fish. I’m not sure what more you want.”
I have hurt her feelings and I did not mean to. I reach for her hand again. “You are more than capable, my heart. I do not mean to insult. And I do not want to push you into doing something if you do not wish to do it. You do not have to learn how to fish or skin. I want you to just be yourself.”
Her hurt expression softens and she reaches over me and brushes her fingertips over my brow. “I actually don’t mind doing that stuff, you know. Well, skinning is rather gross, but everyone has to do their share so it isn’t so bad. But I really am trying, O’jek. I want you to want me.” Her breath catches on the words. “As much as I want you.”
I groan, tugging her hand to my lips again. “My D’see. I have been a fool pushing you away this last turn of the moon.”
“Yes,” she agrees, amusement in her voice. “You really have. Luckily for you, I am a gracious lady who loves you despite your stubbornness.”
I turn her hand over and kiss her palm. “I must beg you for your forgiveness. Do you hate me, D’see?”
“You really must have hit your head hard,” she teases, but her words have a curious vulnerability to them. I watch as she sits up, her teats bobbing—why can I not stop staring at her teats?—and she studies my face again. “Are you sure you’re all right? Do you need the healer? We’re down the shore but I can put my leathers on and go try to find the camp.”
“No, I am well enough. Stay with me.” My tail tightens on her leg.
“Do you need more poultice?” D’see strokes her fingers lightly through my mane, leaning forward. “Want me to check it?”
The movement makes her nipples enticingly close to my mouth. It is as if I have never seen them before, and I am fascinated by the sight of her nudity, along with the scent of her. Has anything ever smelled so good? “No poultice. Come lie next to me.”
“You need more body warmth?” She chuckles and slithers down against my side again, burrowing against me. “That’s why we’re naked, by the way. I needed to warm you up. I’m not hitting on you.”