A’tam is thrilled to return, full of kisses for his mate, and he grabs his small son and flings him in the air to make him giggle. They stand together, B’shit talking in a low voice to him, and I leave them to their privacy. No one comes to greet me, and for a moment, I regret the way I left things with D’see.
This is easier, I remind myself. This is how it must be.
“Welcome back,” U’dron calls as I return. R’ven sits near the fire with him, her son on her lap while her mate mends his nets. “Was it a good hunt?”
“Very good,” I say, moving to sit near them. I can always count upon U’dron to be friendly and welcoming, and his mate gives me a broad smile, too. “We filled two caches full of dvisti and I have many furs that must be worked now. There was a very large herd in the mountains.”
R’ven peers at the huge bundle of hides I set down. “Can I have a few of those? I can always use a few more furs, and we have a lot of fish we’ve caught recently. We’ll trade.”
I undo my pack, removing several of the rolled-up furs. “No trade necessary. You are Shadow Cat. That is enough.”
“You are too kind,” R’ven says, and holds U’rav out to me. “Want to hold your nephew for a bit? He’s been calling your name for days.”
Has he? I smile at that and pick up the kit, bouncing him in my arms. He is a stout one, like his father, but his smile reminds me of R’ven. “Did you miss your clan brothers, U’rav? When you are older, you will go hunting with us, yes? It will be great fun.”
“Ocha,” he tells me, grinning, and reaches up to tap my face with a small hand. “Ocha hunt!”
“That is right.” I feel a fierce surge of affection for the kit. A’bri—A’tam’s son—is rowdy and bold like his father, but U’rav is clever. He is the best of Shadow Cat, I decide, and I wonder what my own son would be like…and feel another stab of pain. I glance around the camp, pretending to look for I’rec. Instead, I search for a pale mane and a pretty face with a red scar on one cheek. It is midday, so the encampment is scattered. I see a few of Strong Arm down by the shore, and one of the females walks into the cave where M’dok keeps his lek-tron-iks. M’rsl and C’lie sew by the main fire, chatting. Other than that, all is quiet. “Where is I’rec? Hunting?”
U’dron shakes his head, bent over his net, his fingers moving quickly to weave over the hole in the mesh. “He has taken F’lor and D’see out to fish and look for clams.”
Two unmated females with stoic I’rec? I frown, jiggling U’rav in my arms again. “Why?”
“Why?” R’ven chuckles, crossing her legs. “I imagine because they asked?” She shrugs. “And they’re friends. Does it matter?”
“Of course not,” I bluster, trying not to think too much about it. I’rec is just watching D’see for me, I tell myself. It is nothing more. He keeps her company. He would never seek to get her attention.
Would he? I told him I rejected her offer. Perhaps he thinks now she is fair game. Perhaps he thinks he will take her up on her needs…
I clench my jaw and hand U’rav back to his mother. “We brought one dvisti back with us. I need to cut the meat and smoke some of it before it thaws and goes bad.”
“I will help,” U’dron says. He gets to his feet, discarding his net, and then leans over his mate. R’ven raises her face for a kiss, and the movement is so easy and natural I feel a pang. To have that constant companion…I had the opportunity and I pushed it away.
It is for the best, I remind myself. The best.
Even so, I regret I have returned to the village. Perhaps I should go back out again. And again. And again, until I no longer worry about D’see or who she is out with. She is free to do as she likes…and I do not have to like it.
CHAPTER 23
O’JEK
They return at suns set, with a net slung over I’rec’s shoulder and both F’lor and D’see carry fish. I try not to stare at D’see as she returns to camp, a bright smile on her face and her mouth red as if stained with berries. Being away from her has only increased my longing, and when she laughs, my heart beats faster in response.
I poke at the meat I am stewing in the pouch over the fire. There are a few roots added for flavor, but it is mostly meat and herbs, along with a layer of bird fat and salt that I rubbed into the haunch to give it more taste.