But Rukhar looks to me for confirmation, and I don’t want to lie. “I mean, that’s the truth but it’s not the whole truth? We’ve decided to mate each other and O’jek is going to give me a baby.”
“And D’see is going to learn to hunt,” my new mate adds.
I’m starting to get annoyed that he keeps bringing that up, because when he does, both Rukh and Rukhar look at me as if I’m growing a second head. I really don’t care for that reaction. Surely I don’t seem that helpless?
“You cannot just decide to make a kit,” Rukh says, gesturing at us. “You need resonance.”
“Or a healer,” I point out. “She helped T’chai and Mari turn theirs off and turn it on again. She can just help us turn ours on.”
But Rukh’s expression grows thunderous. “And you ask Vuh-ron-ca if this is a good idea? She says yes?”
I hesitate, glancing over at O’jek.
“She is the tribe’s healer,” he says stubbornly. “We are part of the tribe. I do not see a problem.”
Rukhar grimaces, the expression far too adult for his young face.
I know how he feels.
It’s Rukh that growls this time. He glares at me and then O’jek as if we’re naughty children. “You think she is not tired from healing this one constantly?”
And he gestures at me.
I recoil as if slapped. Oh.
O’jek steps in front of me, his shoulders taut with tension. “You do not talk to her like that.”
“Dad,” Rukhar says, putting a hand on his father’s arm. “It’s okay.”
“She is healer,” Rukh says, his chopped words growing choppier with his frustration at us. He stabs a finger in my direction. “Day-see needs healing because of burn. Vuh-ron-ca has two small kits and entire tribe to heal. And you decide she needs more work? She is not tired enough? Healer must be there for all, not just Day-see and O’jek.”
My face hurts, the burn flaring up as if deciding the pain will add to my shame. I avert my gaze, because I feel like a selfish, cruel person. We didn’t ask Veronica, no. Or rather, I didn’t, and it was my plan. O’jek is just going along with it to appease me because he’s in love with me. I feel terrible, though. Does Veronica think we’re taking advantage of her gift? Does the entire tribe? Is this just another way they’re going to think I’m lazy? Tears burn behind my eyes and I suddenly wish I was back on Praxii, ignored but expected to be useless. At least I had a handle on what was expected of me there.
“We do not do this to be selfish,” O’jek grits out in a hard voice. He remains standing in front of me, as if he can shield me from Rukh’s disappointment and frustration. “If the healer is too tired, then we will wait until she is not. We do not care if it takes one turn of the moon or one turn of the seasons. D’see and I have chosen to be mated because we have feelings for one another. That has nothing to do with the healer and we do not need permission to share furs. Nor do we need permission to hunt together.”
“I’rec says—”
“I’rec does not know,” O’jek snaps at Rukh, bristling. “He does not share our furs. He does not know what goes between D’see and myself. He just likes to talk.”
Rukh and O’jek glare at each other for a long, uncomfortable moment, and I wonder if O’jek is going to attack him. I’m a little concerned about that, because I’ve never seen two of the tribe really truly attack one another…nor have I ever seen O’jek so angry. He normally just listens to others talk. It’s I’rec with the temper, not O’jek. But right now he looks as if he could cheerfully strangle Rukh.
I put a hand on his arm, squeezing.
Rukhar steps between his father and O’jek. “My mother worried. That’s all. And we wanted to hunt, so it was a simple thing for us to come out and check on you. Where do you plan to train D’see? What do you hunt?”
After a long, tense moment, O’jek’s shoulders seem a little less tight. His tail flicks against my leg and then wraps around my knee, as if holding me against him. “We were to follow tracks. Not hunting unless something ran across our path. D’see must learn to read the snows before she can hunt them. And we were to go to the fruit cave.”
Rukhar’s face lights up and he looks at his father. “The fruit cave! Can we join them, Dad? Mom would love some fruit. She was just talking about it the other day.”
O’jek touches the hand I have on his arm. “Then you are welcome to join us, but our pace is slow so D’see might learn.”