She has made it quite clear that she does not wish to do this. But I wish it for her, and so I ignore her complaints and we keep going.
“I hate you,” she calls again from behind me, sounding ready to cry. “Did you hear me?”
Biting back a sigh, I turn and gaze at our surroundings. “I heard you. Every creature in the vicinity heard you. There will be no hunt for us today.”
D’see staggers to a stop behind me, panting. She leans heavily on the spear I insist she carry, as I have been toting our pack on our walk. I am dismayed at how much she struggles—even the smallest kits that go out with their fathers to hunt have more stamina than my D’see. “I don’t want to hunt,” she tells me in a sulky voice. “Not after you’ve dragged me up an entire mountain.”
An entire mountain? We are barely a few hills away from camp. With a brisk walk, we could be back before dinner. D’see walks slow and I must keep pace with her. I fight back my frustration, because I knew this would be quite a task, but I thought she would at least try. “You must learn to get stronger, my mate. A hunter takes long journeys.”
“Johani always said a female’s leg’s should be soft and rounded,” she protests.
Hearing that hated male’s name on her lips fills me with fury. I turn and glare at her. “I am not Johani! You are my mate! Not his!”
D’see stares at me in shock. She blinks, and then blinks faster, and then sniffles. A tear slides down her cheek, and I feel like the worst of males. I made my female cry. Gritting my teeth, I scratch at the fringe of fur on my jaw. “D’see…do not cry.” I gesture lamely at the hills around us. “I am going to go ahead and find us a cave to settle in for the night. You just keep following my tracks, all right?”
“Follow your tracks? You’re leaving me?!”
“I am not leaving. I am just moving ahead to find the nearest hunter cave.” I gesture at the sky. “There is no snow. You will be able to follow my tracks easily.”
“But what if there’s a wild animal out here?”
I snort. “Then it is deaf from all the noise you have made as we crossed the hills.”
She makes an outraged sound. “O’jek! You are a horrible person!”
“Yes, I am,” I snarl. I turn and storm away. I do not know if I am angrier at her or myself. Normally I am patient, but D’see has protested endlessly this day. She does not wish to learn or improve. She does not truly want to be part of the tribe in this manner. She wishes to sit around and be served all her life, just as she was when she was with the male Johani.
I hate his name. I hate him. I hate that she still acts as if she must somehow please him.
Jogging ahead, I recognize the crags and snowy drifts of this area. There is a hot stream nearby, and a hunter cave a short distance away from it. This is not a cave I normally stop at, as we are still fairly close to Icehome Beach, but it will do for tonight. It is clear that D’see is in no mood to learn anything, and my mood has grown fouler through the day.
I do not like that I yelled at her. Hearing her bring the other male up makes me feel…jealous. As if she would rather be with him than with me. He would give her a life more like she expects, full of pampering and clothes with noisy beads. Here, she only has me, who yells at her, food she does not relish eating, and a mating in the furs with a fool who did not know enough to grease her cunt and not his cock. Groaning, I run a hand down my face in frustration. Truly, I am the worst mate to her. Small wonder that she brings him up when she is upset.
I check the hunter cave to make sure it is free of animals and well supplied, and then leave my pack there and jog back toward D’see and the trail I have left for her. It does not take long to catch the shape of her in the distance. She is moving even slower now than before, I suspect. As I approach, I realize she is walking…oddly. Gingerly. Is she sore from last night and our poor attempt at mating? It was the first time she had mated, and I know it was a big deal for her after waiting for so long. I also know my cock was much bigger than her small entrance.
My remorse deepens. It was her first time and now she is in pain.