“Bah.” I’rec shoots me a look that says he is not amused. “We all know that Tia will be mine.”
I say nothing to that. I’rec and I talk often of the unmated females. Or rather, I’rec talks and I listen. It is true that with only three unmated females left, the three hunters have more or less staked out which females we feel are “ours.” R’jaal has always lingered around F’lor, though they are currently not speaking. A lovers’ quarrel, V’za calls it. And I’rec has his heart set upon Tia, which leaves me with D’see.
Simply because there is no one else.
Even so, that does not feel truthful. I would choose D’see over the other females. Not because she is more beautiful—even though she is—but because she is sweet and kind and funny. She makes me feel as if I am special to her, and we get along well. I understand her more than the others. F’lor is always full of smiles and Tia loves to flirt but I feel nothing for either of them except mild interest. But when I think of D’see, my heart speeds in my chest and I dream of touching her to see her reactions…
She has never indicated she wants me, though. A mate, yes. Me specifically…no.
I think of her offer again.
“That troubled look has yet to leave your face,” I’rec says, leaning on his spear. He has given up all pretense of fishing and lifts his chin in my direction. “Spit it out. We are brothers, are we not?”
“Brothers,” I agree. In many ways, I’rec has been my brother more than Juth has, but Juth shares my blood. Yet I have a feeling that if I confessed my concerns to Juth, he would listen without judgment. With I’rec, there is always judgment. He cannot help but give an opinion. “D’see has suggested to me that we become mates in truth. That we go to the healer and ask her to encourage our khuis so we can make a kit.”
I’rec regards me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, he grunts. “It makes sense.”
That is not the answer I expected from him. “It does?”
He shrugs, focusing on the water again. A fish flashes through the rippling waves nearby and he lifts his spear with slow, even movements. “Of course it does. She has always been very clear that she wishes a kit. She likes you. You like her. What is there to think about?”
“But resonance has not chosen.”
“What if resonance chose her anyhow?” He squints at the waters, narrowing his eyes as his spear rises higher. His voice is hushed and low. “Can you tell me you truly want F’lor or Tia more than you want D’see?”
He knows I do not. I watch in silence as he stabs at the water and the fish skims away. “Why do I feel as if you are encouraging this because it means you are one step closer to Tia being your mate?”
I’rec laughs, grinning at me. “That is not the only reason. There are many advantages. Shadow Cat will have another desirable female. We will have another kit to claim as part of our clan. You will finally have your heart’s desire.” He slaps a wet hand on my shoulder. “Your feelings for her are obvious to all, my brother. This would be a good thing for you.”
“You make it sound so simple,” I grumble.
He spreads his arms wide, the end of his spear dragging through the water and making other fish speed away. Truly, his mind is not on hunting this morning but on gossip. “What if you never resonate?” At my silence, he continues. “What if you wait ten turns of the seasons and it chooses D’see for you anyhow? You are merely starting early.”
Perhaps he is right. Perhaps claiming this for ourselves is not such a big thing.
Still, I wish she had confessed love for me. I wish she had said that I had her heart and she wished to choose me.
It feels as if she is choosing a kit and not me. I am simply a convenience. In me, D’see sees the easiest path to getting what she wants. Well then…I will make it more challenging for her.
If she wishes to have me as a mate, I want her to show me how deeply she wishes for this. I will not make this easy on her. If she can prove to me just how deeply she wants this—and us—then perhaps I will feel differently.
CHAPTER 5
DAISY
I hide in my hut all day. Is it a little cowardly? Yes. Do I regret it? Not at all. I don’t know that I can see Penny and S’bren’s excited faces right now and not worry about my own future. I’m in love with the idea I’ve proposed to O’jek, but I know he’s been out talking to I’rec all morning and I’m sure he’s talking it over. I wonder if I’rec will be for it or against it. I get along just fine with all of Shadow Cat, but I’rec is the hardest to know.