Paisley
I can’t believe how much stamina Ollie has. We not only had sex four times, but he also blew my mind as he growled at me while he ate me out too. Never thought I’d say this, but damn am I sore in my ‘downstairs girlie’ area. He’s a big man with such a huge…heart. I smile to myself at my thoughts.
Today has been great. We’ve kept it light but now my mind is running all over. Ollie’s family lives in Montana and I have no idea where he plans on living. My clinic and the farm are here in Virginia. I do have a couple of other vets who I recently took on as partners with me at the clinic. The farm I actually bought off of Joe and Merty when she got sick. They still work here because they didn’t even want to sell it but needed money for some of Merty’s unconventional treatments their insurance wouldn’t cover. Never did I think I’d buy a farm, shelter, or home. But I had built such a strong relationship with both Joe and Merty when they started taking in some of the animals dumped or no one wanted at the clinic. I couldn’t just take them to The Humane Society, knowing that if they were lucky, they would be given a week before their dead day. So, I got to know their family and had to do whatever I could to help when Merty got sick. Neither of their kids had the type of money needed, so yeah, this place in itself was going to need plenty of work and that’s where Joe comes in. He’s like my general manager because he knows all that we’ve built together like the back of his hand. From the tiny kind of shelter to what we are today. Their kids also help out and even Merty still tries to be here when she can because she misses it so much. Well, I think she misses all the stray fur babies mostly.
I bring my attention back to the omelet I’m making for Ollie as I hear the water turn off. He insisted he can wash himself up, so I left him to it after our last time, when I finally was able to move. I could barely walk to the kitchen. I smile to myself and do a little hip dance thinking,I still got itor as the commercial says you’ve come a long way baby. Guess everyone’s right, it’s like riding a bike. You never forget, it comes back to you quickly. I giggle at my words and flip the omelet just as the toaster pops. I move to pull the toast out and butter it when something catches my eye. Turning, I see Ollie in the doorway watching me with a grin on his face. Oh shit, how long has he been there? I was acting like a fool; I pray he didn’t see that.
“Um, Pixie, can I ask what that hip shaking thing was about? Not to mention that devilish little giggle coming from your lips. Wanna share with me?”
“Nope, not at all. Grab your toast, will ya? Butter is on the table. Throw a couple in for me, please.”
We work as a team and before I know it, we’re sitting at the table with omelets, toast, fresh fruit, and warmed-up muffins in front of us. Watching Ollie looking my way, I shrug my shoulders at him with a grin.
“Pixie, you can’t eat like this every day. You weigh nothing, for Christ’s sake. Man, those muffins are the shit, baby. I can’t put them in my mouth fast enough. Pixie, if we keep going like we are, I’m gonna weigh five hundred pounds quick.”
Ollie saying that stops me in my tracks.“If we keep going like we are.”
What the hell does he even mean? All my concerns come front and center because maybe this is just a fling for him while he’s recovering. I never even asked if he has someone special, did I? Well, he sure as hell didn’t mention anyone. Knowing I’m losing my shit, I need some time alone to get my head together. If I’m around him I can’t think straight, and now that we’ve ‘buttered each other’s biscuits’ I can’t get any of it out of my mind. That thought almost brings a smile to my face until a familiar picture continues to roll of us in many positions in my bed and that’s not helping at all. I throw back my chair, grabbing my mug, acting like I need more coffee because him saying that has me thinking: what in the hell are we doing? With my head up my own ass, I don’t hear him wheel behind me until I land on his lap before I know what’s happening. “Pixie, what’s wrong? You look pissed and since it’s the two of us and your dogs, I’m guessing it’s me who’s got ya all angry and shit. Why? Thought everything was going great. Catch me up, baby, please?”
Pushing his hands off me, I stand and move to the table, sitting down. Head in my hands, I’m trying to relieve the pressure that feels like it’s going to blow my head off my shoulders. He wheels by and sits across from me, reaching over, grabbing my forearm so he can hold my hand. I stare at the man who’s wiggled his way into my life and heart. I have feelings for him and don’t want what we have to be casual. It takes a lot to piss me off but once I’m there, I generally need some time to let it blow off. Sitting at the table with him holding my hand is just making it worse.
Pulling my hand away, I stand chugging down my coffee.
“Ollie, what are we doing here? Really. I know you’re here to check out Cole Security Forces, but I’ve never heard anything about what you want. All you’ve told me is that you’re originally from Montana, you joined the Navy, and were a SEAL. Also, that one of your sisters knows Charlie and she lives in California. I don’t even know if you have someone special in your life. Am I a filler for you while you’re here in Virginia? What we just did the last twenty hours has blown my mind, and it means a lot to me, it really does. But, Ollie, I’m not a wham-bam, thank you, ma’am. Honey, go ahead and eat your breakfast. I need some time to think and get stuff in my head in order. I’m not mad, Ollie, this is just me protecting myself. That’s all. I’ll be back, just going to take a quick walk around and see how things are going today.”
As I walk past him again, he grabs my hand and I look at his handsome face, which at the moment is showing confusion and pain.
“Pixie, we do need to talk, you’re right. Go on take your walk, I’ll be here when you get back, baby.”
As I head toward the front door grabbing a hoodie, my main thought is do I want to go down that road again? Of building something with someone who I think I know, and then, wham they’re someone else totally. My emotions are all over the place. I need to check the calendar, maybe I’m getting close to my monthly ‘moody self’ showing up. Great, just what I need, something else to mess with my mind.
* * *
Watching the horses being put through their paces in the largest paddock, I’m feeling lost. Sitting on the top rung of the fence, I’m just taking up space not thinking about all the heavy crap running around up there.
“Hey, missy, whatcha doing down here with that big soldier up at the house? Everything okay?”
I shift, looking over my shoulder to see Joe standing, glancing up at me. Damn, this man has always been here for me since I bought the farm. Even when I wasn’t sure I’d make it another month, Joe was my silent strength who never let me give up. Before I can stop it, tears are flowing down my cheeks onto my hoodie. Crawling back down, Joe is there, arms out, and I take him up on his offer.
“Alright, girly, let it out. Nothin’ is that bad, probably all the left over emotions from the open house. You worked your tush off and now it’s back to the everyday crap.”
“Joe, I’m so selfish with all that’s going on with Merty. I’m so sorry, it just seems like life keeps kicking me and I’ve had enough. And when I try to bring good things into my life, it never works.”
He pats my shoulders and lets me just be. After a few minutes I’m able to pull myself together and step back.
“How’s Merty doing? She looked really good yesterday and her energy seemed pretty high too. Joe, I’m not sure how you guys ran this like a little shelter, there’s so much work I always feel like I’m drowning and behind. What am I doing wrong?”
“Paisley girl, you’re doing a great job. But you need to quit taking on extra things and building this place bigger. Sometimes bigger isn’t better. Yeah, we’re helping the horses and other large farm animals, but this farm isn’t set up for that, so yeah that adds extra work. Honey, you don’t know how to just enjoy life. As soon as everything is running smoothly, you go out and find something else to fix or save. Merty and I started this for stray dogs and cats. Maybe some wildlife creatures so they could recover, and we would then release them back into nature. And, missy, we’re so grateful to you for being there when we needed to let this place go. You gave me and my Merty a chance to fight the crap that’s in her. The extra years have been amazing, but we don’t want you to be buried under this farm. Not to mention the clinic too. You need to figure out what you truly want. Ollie seems to be a good boy, but that’s your decision. Pick what works for you in your work, your home, and your heart, and just go with it. Nothin’ is ever perfect, Paisley girl. Nothin’.”