“You talked about feeling guilty and that you didn’t know what to do with me. Then, you went on to say you’d have to tell me, and you seemed so sad.”
He wiped a hand down his face. Fuck, he could see how she’d take the conversation differently when she’d heard just his side of it, and some of his anger dissipated.
“I know that you find my back ugly and can hardly stand to look at it. I understand. I really do. Those scars I will never be able to get rid of.”
He stared at her intently, trying to figure out what to deal with first.
“I want to leave, Drake.”
He shook his head. “That will never happen.” It felt like someone stabbed him when she pressed her hands to her face and started to cry. He realized at that moment she rarely did, or she hid it from him, and he hated the fact she was suffering in silence.
“It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll have to leave in a few weeks,” she said.
“You’re not fucking going anywhere,” he said with a growl. “Do you realize if you had managed to get back to Afghanistan, you probably would have been murdered?”
When she nodded her head, he almost howled, the pain was so great.
“You don’t care if you died?” he asked in outraged shock.
“I … yes, but—”
“But what?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“But you do, you stay here with me.”
“I won’t do that. The thought of making you unhappy makes me sick. I’d rather be dead.”
His stomach twisted because he truly believed she meant what she said.
“You’d rather be dead than be with me?”
“You’re making it sound like I’m taking something from you when I’m trying to give your life back to you,” she exclaimed.
“But you are taking something from me. My heart. I can’t imagine not having you in my life, and I wake up thanking God that I’ve got you back, and you want to take that from me?”
“That’s the guilt…”
“The fuck it is,” he yelled. He took a few breaths to calm down and looked at Ryker. “How in the hell and I going to get through to her?”
“You’ll have to tell her everything, man.”
“But I’m terrified the plan will fall through, and then she’ll hate me.”
“I could never hate you, Drake.”
He turned back to her and sighed. “Have a seat.” He indicated the bed, and she walked over and sat.
“Since you’ve been here, Ryker, a few others, and I have been trying to get your cousin and aunt here.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “Is that even possible?”
“It’s very possible, baby. We’ve got people there who are helping them pack essentials, and one of them is your grandmother’s wedding ring. Your aunt wanted me to have it to give to you.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“That’s what I was talking about on the phone. I know if I had been in your shoes, I would have taken it the wrong way, too. But all I feel guilty about is not being there to protect you, and if you think for one second that I don’t find everything about you beautiful, you’re crazy. I don’t give a fuck about the scars, but when I see them, I feel the pain you must have felt, and it makes me crazy.”
He crouched down in front of her and took her hands. “Baby, I can’t say it any plainer than this. I love you with my whole heart, and you’d have to kill me to let you go. We are engaged as of now. I wanted to wait for the ring, but you’re more important. So, if by chance we can’t get them here by next week, we’ll get married but have a wedding when they get here.”
He studied her face. “Do you have any questions?”