“No,” Nua said angrily. “I’m not having Ash put himself at risk for me—”
“You can’t stop me.”
His green eyes flashed.
“This is foolish, Ash,” he snapped. “Certain death. No one ever even makes it to the isle. You’d die in the waters.”
“I’m going to try.”
He let out a hopeless sound and gripped Gillie’s hand harder. “Please—”
“I’m doing it, Nua.” I forced myself not to soften at the sight of his misery. “For you. Both of you. And—yes—for me too. I don’t want to be there with her. And I don’t want to hide from her forever either.”
I gripped his hand again, feeling his long fingers tighten on mine. “We’ll be safe, Nua. And you can do whatever you want. You can still live out here if you want to. Who cares? You’ll be king. You can make the rules.”
I tried to smile at him, but my face felt too hard and brittle. Determination stiffened my limbs. I wasn’t backing down on this. Now I’d made the decision, I was going to follow it through. I was going to try my best.
Maybe this would finally fill the hollow ache in my chest. Nothing else had, and I grew fearful that maybe nothing ever would. Maybe I’d just keep making these stupid fucking mistakes in a misguided attempt to feel better.
And if I did die trying to reach Hybra, at least I’d be gone, away from the Brid’s grasp, and Nua would still be safe. It was the least I could do. My foolish, reckless actions had brought him into her crosshairs again. So I was going to make it right.