“I look forward to seeing his head take pride of place in here,” Balor called after me. “Maybe you can get a few hours alone with it in your room before handing it over to our mother.”
I was going to be sick. My breaths were snarling out of me as I stumbled up the stairs to my room. The urge to shift—to carry out her order—was getting stronger, and I fought it as hard as I could.
I fell into my room and allowed myself one weak sob. Automatically my body carried out my ritual, walking to my nightstand and fumbling with the acorn necklace to feel its warmth against my throat. But it just made the tears fall faster, offering no comfort. I didn’t deserve to wear it, especially not when I was… going to kill him.
But I was weak. I couldn’t take it off. I shifted into the crow and escaped, flying blindly towards the forest.
Please don’t make me, I thought pointlessly, to no one.Please. I’ll die. Please. Please please please please
I had to find a way to stop this. To stop myself. I was flying, but I was trapped, and my wings stuttered, sending me plummeting towards the ground before I righted myself in a panic.
Ogma. I needed to find Ogma. I needed my second name, I needed to break the hold my mother had over me.
I found myself flying blindly through the trees, smacking into leaves and branches, until the forest grew familiar. I was shifting before I’d even thought about it, stumbling to the hidden sidhe door and hammering on it.
The Golden Son was gripping a long blade when he flung the door open, and his green eyes flashed with rage when he saw me. But he froze when I fell to my knees.
“P-please,” I sobbed. “Please. Help me find her. I n-need to find her.”
“Find who?” Ash’s brother barked sharply as a tall, dark-haired fae with silver eyes rushed up behind him brandishing another blade.
“O—” I couldn’t get her name out. I tried again, my throat burning like I’d drunk acid. “O—” I groaned in frustration. “Y-you gave him mushrooms to find her. Please.”
I knew I wasn’t making much sense. The Golden Son’s head cocked before understanding dawned in his eerie green eyes.
“Ogma?” He glanced at the silver-eyed fae. “So the rumours are true, then.”
“Why should we help you?” the fae asked in a hard voice.
My mouth trembled, and I let out a sob before answering.
“She’s ordered me to kill him. I c-can’t fight it much longer.” I stared up at them, their forms wavering as tears streamed from my eyes. “I’ll do anything. I’ll give you anything, I promise.Please.”
“Kill Ash?” His brother sounded stricken.
“I can’t do it,” I sobbed, gripping wet leaves and dirt in shaking fists. “Please don’t make me. Don’t make me.”
They weren’t even the ones to have ordered it, but I was panicking too much. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t breathe. The urge to carry out the Carlin’s order was getting stronger, but I fought it with my entire being.
“Why can’t you do it?” the silver-eyed fae asked in the same hard voice.
“I love him,” I sobbed. “He was—W-we were—”
“He can’t remember you,” the brother said in a cold voice.
“H-he made a vow to forget me. When he found out her plan. H-he thinks it was all a game. He thinks I killed his parents.”
The silver-eyed fae shifted, crossing his arms as he stared down at me. “We know you didn’t. Odran told me. He heard you and your brother at the lake.”
“Please help me,” I begged. “H-help me find her. I can’t stop it otherwise. I’ll give you anything. I’ll p-promise you anything. Make any vow you want—just please.”
The two Folk shared a long look as I trembled at their feet. Then the Golden Son looked down at me again, eyes hard.
“We’ll help you.” My body sagged with overwhelming relief. “But not for you. For Ash.”
I nodded quickly, unable to get up, because I was terrified that if I did, I’d shift back into the crow and fly straight to seelie land. I kept my hands clenched in the earth, anchoring me to the ground.
The silver-eyed fae vanished, and I felt the Golden Son watching me as I knelt there in the dirt, trembling wildly as I tried to fight the Carlin’s order.