Chapter Seventeen
Lonan
The kelpie and I stared at each other in silence for a long time after Ash left. I forced myself not to gaze after him, feeling ashamed of the brash actions that had stemmed from fierce, all-consuming jealousy at the sight of them sitting together. At what I had heard the kelpie say.
That didn’t mean I was going to back down.
“I’ll cut off your prick if you try anything with him,” I gritted to the kelpie, even though I had absolutely no right.
I’d destroyed my chance with Ash. I should have allowed him to move on. To find happiness with someone.
But I couldn’t. I was weak.
“Mm,” the kelpie drawled, quirking a brow as he eyed me. “We suspected as much. We saw you visiting him often at the cottage. Very often.”
I gritted my teeth, wanting to bare them at him again in a snarl.
“But he can’t remember you at all,” the kelpie added in a casual tone, but his eyes were still watching me closely.
Grief tightened my chest, no less intense than the first moment Ash had made his vow. When I stayed silent, the kelpie huffed and languidly swam deeper into his lake, as if I was no threat at all.
“Where are your loyalties, Prince Lonan?” he asked, still watching me. “Where do they lie?”
“With Ash,” I rasped immediately, even though he was unseelie. He could go and tell my mother, but I couldn’t have given any other answer.
“Then why doesn’t he remember you?”
I clenched my jaw, feeling the muscle spasm there. “He vowed to forget me.”
“When he found out your mother’s plan?” The kelpie nodded. “It hurt him greatly, I imagine. If you were together.”
I knew he was fishing for more information. I couldn’t have told him anyway. My mother had forced all of us to take a vow to never breathe a word of her plan, of Ash’s heritage, to anyone else.
“I know you didn’t kill his parents,” the kelpie rasped, making me jerk. But it was another thing I couldn’t answer. “I heard you and your brother. At the lake.” He peered at me. “He wants you for himself.”
Intense shame made me look away. I was utterly humiliated that anyone had witnessed Balor advancing on me that day, lust gleaming in his eyes.We are only half brothers, Lonan.I shuddered.
“I don’t know why you’re still following Ash. Watching him. You should leave him alone.”
I swallowed. “I can’t.”
“He escaped your mother’s claws. He deserves to live his life.”
“I just want to protect him,” I mumbled, feeling agonisingly exposed. But I had no one else I could say this to, not that I particularly wanted to say it all to the kelpie.
“The more you know, the more danger you put him in.” The kelpie was still watching me intensely. “Are the rumours true, Prince Lonan? That your mother never showed you the way to Ogma?”
I couldn’t tell him that, but I lifted my eyes and stared at him hard. After a moment, he nodded.
“That explains much.”
“Does it?” I snarled, my fingers twitching for my blade just to shut him up.
I hated the thought of anyone knowing my weakness. It was bad enough that Balor knew, but at least he was in the same position as I was. Totally under our mother’s control, our actions driven by her orders and the vows she’d forced us to make.
“If she orders you to come and find him in the forest, you will know exactly where to look.” The kelpie continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “He will be safer if you leave him alone completely. If you know nothing of his whereabouts or movements. He can fend for himself. I think he’s proven that, if he’s picking off your mother’s guards.”
He was right. I knew he was, but I couldn’t bring myself to agree out loud. The thought of not even getting to see him anymore made me want to weep. I helped him when I could, shifting into animals to watch over him, help him spot guards, make sure he made it back to his brother’s sidhe safely.