“I haven’t asked you to keep any secrets,” I gritted out through clenched teeth, wanting to rip out his tongue with my bare hands.
Balor laughed. “A technicality won’t help you.”
“Then what do you want?” I exploded, glaring at him. “Stop following me. Stop talking to me. Whatever you’re planning on forcing me to do, let’s just get it over with so I no longer have to look at you.”
He stared at me before a slow smile spread over his face.
“No need to shout, Lonan.” His smile widened. “I do believe that’s the first flash of anger I have ever witnessed from you. Your seelie dog really has got you all tied up in knots.”
He leaned in until his cold breath hit my cheek, and revulsion curled my lip.
“He never breached you, but it seems he got under your skin in other ways.”
“You’re disgusting.” I stepped back. “Stay away from me, Balor.”
“Do you regret not letting him fuck you?” he rasped. “Do you wonder what it feels like?”
He was breathing hard now, and the look in his eye turned my stomach.
“You’d had no one before him, had you?” He stepped closer, making me take another step back. “He was your first. He woke your body up, but he is no longer here. Do you ache for him? For the touch of another? Is that why you look for him?”
My heart was thudding hard in my chest as I stared at him in horror, stumbling back. He kept advancing, blue eyes tracking down my frame and back up. My gorge rose when I saw the lust gleaming in them.
“We are only half brothers, Lonan.”
I had my blade in my hand in the next instant. “I’ll cut your fucking hands off.”
“I’ll consider it one of your debts fulfilled,” he rasped, still advancing. One long, pale hand lifted to reach for me. My gut lurched. “A favour repaid. Just let me—”
I shifted into the crow and flew, directly into the forest. My heart thrummed too hard in my chest, making my flight wobbly and frantic. I landed in a tree to try and calm myself, but all I could see was the sick gleam of arousal in my brother’s eyes.
Of all the reasons I had considered for why he was doing this to me, bitter jealousy had never been one of them. He was vile. He had watched us—watchedme—not just to hoard secrets to use against me.
He’d tainted every memory I had of Ash. Of us together.
He needed to die, but my mother had ensured that I was trapped by my own name, in a vow that meant I could never kill him.