He gave a tiny shrug, his shoulders stiff as he kept his head bent. I stared at him, my gut slowly tightening with discomfort.
“It’s not my money,” I said weakly. “It was the Brid’s. And it… it was taken unfairly.”
“Still.” Lonan’s voice was flat, but he reached for another gift and held it out to me with a tiny smile.
I swallowed, slowly taking it from him. “You know that… you know you can have whatever you want. You don’t have to ask Nua. You don’t have to ask anyone.”
I saw Lonan’s jaw tense, but he exhaled and relaxed his face. “Open your other gifts, king.”
Do you hate it here?The question burned on the tip of my tongue as I stared down at the gift in my lap, not really seeing it.
The thought had slithered into my mind a few times already, in moments when Lonan seemed even more quiet and withdrawn than usual. When we woke up and I asked him what his plans were for the day, and he just stared up at the ceiling in silence for a few moments before turning to me with a forced smile.
When he tensed up if there were too many Folk around in the palace, or how he seemed to flag if we were outside for too long in the afternoon sun.
Terror made my gut clench every time I looked at him and wondered if he secretly wished he could leave. He’d said before that he wanted to be here with me. And I believed him.
But maybe he hadn’t truly thought about the implications. Maybe he hadn’t realised what it really meant—living on seelie land.
Maybe he couldn’t stay here.
No. I shoved the worries away viciously. It was only temporary, anyway. One day, we would kill the Carlin and Lonan would take his crown. We would have to find some way to split our time between here and unseelie, because I already knew I wouldn’t accept being apart from him for any length of time.
I didn’t want to ruin this day, so I didn’t say anything, just unwrapped the rest of my presents. Lonan had also gotten me a new back quiver made of stiff brown leather embossed with a gold leaf pattern. I unwrapped a bundle of perfectly made arrows with brown feather fletching, a big bar of freshly made lavender soap to go with the rosemary oil he’d already given me, a few pairs of soft, loose linen pyjama trousers in a light tan colour, a notebook with a dark green mushroom leather cover and a big, heavy book about the flora and fauna of the seelie lands, detailing their potential uses and properties as potioncraft ingredients.
“These are amazing, Lonan.” My voice was thick. I carefully set everything aside and knee-walked across the rug to him, wrapping my arms around his neck the moment he was in reach.
He pulled me into his lap until I was straddling him, and I buried my face in his neck. His hair was damp and cool against my face, not yet fully dried, and he smelled perfect. Like fire after frost.
“I love you,” I mumbled into his neck. “Thank you.”
Maybe if I told him enough, if I showed him enough, I could make him like it here—make him feel at home here. I would shower him with so much love that he never wanted to leave me. I would replace the things he might be missing from unseelie with new things. Better things. I’d give him anything.
“I love you too.” He kissed my shoulder, his arms holding me tight. “You’re welcome.”
Pulling back, I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him, dipping my tongue into his mouth. Lonan’s hands slid down my back, palming my ass before trailing down my thighs.
“Maybe you can lend me your old bow and teach me,” he said when we broke the kiss, raising a hand to cup my chin.
I grinned. “You don’t know how already?”
“I’m best with blades,” he said, following me up as I climbed off his lap and stood. “I can use other weapons, but I haven’t learned archery.”
“I’ll teach you, assassin.” Not that he was an assassin anymore. He no longer had to do what his mother ordered him.
I collected my gifts, putting the soap in the bathroom, tucking the pyjama bottoms in a drawer and placing the book and notebook on the dresser. Then I carefully laid out my new archery gear on the bed—which Lonan had already made—and lifted my bow out of its box.
It felt good in my branch hand, the perfect weight. My spindly fingers curved around the grip, fitting there so much better than they had on my longbow. I grinned over at Lonan.
“It’s perfect,” I told him, tucking my new arrows into the quiver and slinging it onto my back, followed by the bow.
Lonan chuckled. “Going out fully armed today?”
I rolled my eyes as I sat down on the bed to pull on socks and boots. “That’s rich, coming from you. You wear four blades at all times.”
He huffed and came closer, resting his palms on my thighs as he leaned down to bump my cheek with his nose. “I’m surrounded by hotheaded seelie, and I share a bed with their king. Can’t be too careful.”
I laughed, but my gut clenched just a little as I tugged on my boots.