“What will my coronation be like?” I wondered out loud, running my hands up and down Lonan’s chest.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “The Carlin never told us anything like that.”
My lip curled. I didn’t want him to start thinking about her, so I kissed his neck again before nuzzling into his hair.
“What if I turn into a complete tyrant?” I teased. “You’ll have to make sure I don’t. Keep me grounded.”
“You won’t,” he said quietly.
I chewed my lip, anxiety flaring again at how withdrawn he seemed. He wasn’t being cold, but I could tell he was troubled in some way. I hoped it was just his leg, and that he’d feel better after resting it.
I tried to ignore the fear that sat in my stomach like a ball of ice. Maybe he hated it here, on seelie land. Maybe he couldn’t stand the thought of staying here with me while I was king.
I wanted to spin him in my arms and kiss him. Gorge myself on him, because I’d missed him so much, and I wanted to know that everything was still alright. But I didn’t dare.
After our bath, Jora delivered some dinner to our room. She didn’t seem to know where to look when I opened the door in only my leather trousers, her pink face turning bright red.
I took the tray from her with a smile. Lonan chuckled quietly from where he sat in front of the fire after I closed the door.
“You’re going to make her faint, if any more blood rushes to her head when she sees you.”
I made a little grumbling sound in my throat as I carried the tray over. “Yeah. What’s with that?”
“Because you’re beautiful,” he said, making me flush. “And you’re the king.”
“I still have no idea what that actually means for me,” I admitted as I set the tray on the table between the two armchairs. “What I’ll have to do.”
“You don’t have to do much, if you don’t want,” Lonan told me, his black eyes reflecting the warm seelie fire in the hearth. “It depends on how much change you want to make after your mother.”
“I don’t know enough yet. I need to find out more about what she did or… didn’t do. What it’s like for them.”
He nodded. “You will. But you don’t need to find out tonight.”
I grinned over at him as I sat down. “You’re right. Let’s eat and then go to bed. And stay there. For a very long time.”
Lonan’s eyes darkened with arousal, but his nod was hesitant. I frowned at that, but got quickly distracted when he pulled the metal cloche off the tray and the warm, rich scent of lamb rose up. My stomach rumbled. I’d been too tense and nervous to eat before we left Nua and Gillie’s sidhe, but now I was ravenous.
There was a whole leg of roasted lamb on a platter, surrounded by steamed carrots and new potatoes. A separate bowl of steamed greens was dotted with tiny knobs of butter, and an entire loaf of crusty bread sat on a wooden board with a bowl of more whipped butter beside it.
A dish of sliced strawberries was nestled between two bowls filled with light, airy chocolate mousse. There was a jug of water and two cups, as well as two glasses of sparkling seelie wine and two tankards of dark ale.
I ignored the wine and took one of the ales. I’d drunk hardly any alcohol while I’d been here—too wary of the Brid—but I’d liked this when I’d tried it. It was dark and bitter, nothing like the cloyingly sweet unseelie wine.
The seelie didn’t seem to like sweet things as much as the unseelie. They didn’t glaze their meat in honey or crust their fruit with sugar. I appreciated it. A lot.
Lonan picked up the other tankard and took a hesitant sip, like he wasn’t sure if he’d like it. His nose wrinkled slightly, which made me melt, but he took a second sip before giving me a small smile when he noticed I was watching him.
“I like it.”
I ripped off a hunk of bread and used it to tear some of the lamb free. It fell off the bone, and I suppressed my groan when I put it in my mouth.
“Okay, maybe I take back what I said about getting rid ofallthe staff and cooking our food myself.”
Lonan chuckled, but I noticed he wasn’t eating much, even though he normally ate more than I did. He picked at his food, taking tiny bites.
I swallowed my mouthful and watched him worriedly.
“Are you okay?” I asked, fiddling with the bread in my hand. “I know this must all be… really weird for you.”