Chapter Seventeen
Lonan was tense as we walked back to the cottage. Silent and stiff, his normally loose, slinking gait jerky with each step.
I kept trying to think of things to say that would fill the silence, but got too nervous every time I went to say them. We were well clear of the court and the village before I finally spoke.
“I think that went okay,” I offered hesitantly, not knowing if he’d even acknowledge me.
I jumped when he spun round and glared at me, his face tight with barely suppressed anger.
“Have you doneanythingto try and shed your mortal skin? Are you tryingat all?” He thrust his hand towards the Carlin’s palace, looming in the distance. “That’s what she wants.”
Disappointment made me want to sag, but hot anger quickly chased it away. I was an idiot, thinking he was on my side at all. Thinking he could ever be nice just because he’d helped me. Given me advice. He just wanted the same thing as his mother. He was helpingher, not me. He was onherside, and I was a fool for ever thinking otherwise.
“Why does she even want that?” I snapped. “Why does she care? What’s in it for her?”
Lonan clenched his jaw, visibly trying to tamp back his emotions.
“Are you just going to sit in your fucking cottage making tea and tending to your little garden?” he snarled instead of answering any of my questions, making my face flare hot with embarrassment. “You’re just going to sit there waiting to see what happens to you?”
“Whatisgoing to happen to me?” I shouted, clenching my hands into fists. “No one’s told me anything. You’re all just telling me to shed my mortal skin. What the fuck does that mean? Stop saying I’m half fae. I’m not. I’mhuman. Mortal. I don’t know why your fucking mother brought me here, so how is it my fault that I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing?”
“I just told you what to do,” he gritted out. “Shed your mortal skin.”
I groaned in frustration. “That tells menothing. That doesn’tmeananything. I can’t shed my fucking skin! Why don’t any of you Folk just speak plainly? Stop talking in fucking riddles.” I stepped closer, glaring at him. “You’re so worried I’m not doing what your mother wants? Then tell me. Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”
“Shed your—”
“Donotsay that again.” I turned and strode off, towards the cottage.
“Just because you can lie through your teeth doesn’t mean I can.” I could hear Lonan striding after me. “You are half fae. You are Folk. I wouldn’t be able to say those words if it wasn’t true.”
I couldfeelthe truth in his words, but it was too terrifying to consider, so I ignored it.
I didn’t know why he was still following me. Why he hadn’t threatened to kill me for speaking to himrudely, or just stamped off back to his gaudy palace with his mother. I continued to ignore him, my heart racing and blood too hot in my veins.
“Think of the things you can’t do,” he said from behind me, audibly trying to calm his voice. “And how that could change.”
What? What the fuck did that mean?
“You feel trapped here,” he continued. “Powerless.”
Why was he saying this?
“Because Iamtrapped here.” I spun round. “Your mother has trapped me here. Fucking cut my neck so I can’t leave. So I get thrown out of the forest if I step foot in it.”
His chest was rising fast as he stared back at me, face once again an emotionless mask. But I saw the muscle twitch in his cheek.
“Think of what you could do if you unlocked your fae side,” he said, and I opened my mouth to shout at him to stop speaking in riddles again before I stopped myself.
What was he actually trying to tell me? Was he saying… if I did that, I’d be able to leave?
I stared at him, breathing hard. He stared back in silence.
My shoulders sagged with despondence. “Why can’t you just tell me?”
He was right. Iwaspowerless. Iwastrapped. Telling me toshed my mortal skindidn’t help me. Telling me to unlock my fae side—if I really had one—didn’t help me. How the hell was I supposed to do that?
His jaw ticked wildly.