Bleary copper eyes peered up at me through the dark.
“Did you have fun?” His tone was hopeful, making me feel even worse.
I smiled tightly and nodded. “Yeah, it was great.”
But Caom snorted, giving my shoulder a weak, friendly shove that nearly made him lose his balance. “Lying mortal.”
“Sorry,” I said ruefully, twisting my hands in my shirt. “I’ve never really been one for big parties.”
Even at uni, I’d preferred going to the pub with a small group of friends rather than wild, out-of-control house parties or thumpingly loud nightclubs.
Caom waved his hand again. “Don’t worry, that will change when you shed your mortal skin. Wait!”
He stopped dead, turning to squint at me with unfocused eyes. His shoulders slumped.
“Still mortal. Oh well.” He shot me a sloppy smile. “It’s still early. Nothing to worry about.”
I rolled my eyes but said nothing as we continued walking. I was mildly uneasy about how much the sight of the cottage filled me with relief and comfort as it came into view, dark and squat in front of the looming black of the silent forest. It had only been a few days. As lonely as it had felt at first, now I was grateful that it was set so far away from everyone else. Away from cold Folk eyes.
My gut tightened with anticipation as we approached the stone cottage. Maybe the wolf would come back tonight.
“Sleep well, Ash.” Caom waved at me as I opened the door. “I’m not sure if I’ll come by tomorrow. I’ll probably be sleeping all day after the party. Do you have enough food?”
“That’s fine,” I said quickly, standing in the doorway. “I’ll be alright. And I have enough food. Thank you.”
With a nod and a final wave, Caom turned and started swaying back towards the party in the distance, the cold unseelie fire flickering over dancing shapes that twisted and turned.
Once he was far enough away, I stepped back outside and slipped round the side of the cottage to the back. My heart leapt when I saw the big black wolf already waiting, curled up in the spot where he’d first found me. His tailed thumped on the ground in greeting as he lifted his big head when he spotted me.
“Hi.” I crossed to him with a grin and dropped down to sit cross-legged, already burying my hands in the thick, coarse fur of his ruff.
I wasn’t going to think about the note. The wolf was simply happy to see me, rising up and stretching languidly before licking over my cheek. His black eyes were smiling when he leaned back and panted.
“Tonight was awful,” I told him, and he let out a low, sympathetic whine, muzzle leaning in to snuffle at my neck and jaw.
“I guess I appreciate the party, but… it didn’t really feel like it was for me anyway. Just an excuse for the Folk to get drunk.”
The wolf chuffed and licked my neck, then dropped and rolled onto his back, tongue lolling out.
I chuckled, reaching out to scratch his ribs. “Not self-conscious about the goods anymore, then.”
I could have sworn the wolf froze for a split second at my words, making me laugh again.
“Don’t worry, I’m not looking. Besides, I’m well-acquainted with balls, and not just my own. I’ve handled many. Not wolf ones, obviously,” I added quickly, cringing.
The wolf obviously didn’t react, just gazed up at me from his back as his left leg kicked in time with my scratches.
I sighed, leaning back against the stone wall of the cottage and staring absently into the dark forest, trailing my fingers through the softer fur on the wolf’s lean belly. He wriggled until his head leaned against my thigh, rubbing the bridge of his long snout over my leg.
I shot him a wry smile. He definitely wasn’t a normal wolf, but that didn’t mean he was bad. The note had said not to trust him, but I was pretty sure I’d trust him over the Folk any day.
“Am I really just stuck here?” I mumbled, staring at the forest again. The wolf obviously didn’t answer, but I could feel him watching me.
“I don’t want to cry anymore.” My eyes mercifully remained dry, even as my chest tightened with pain. “I’m tired of being sad. I miss my parents so much, but… it feels easier here. To not think about it so much. And that scares me.”
The wolf twisted round and sat up, leaning heavily into me and snuffling my neck. I rested my hand on the back of his thick neck.
“I’m worried the longer I’m stuck here, the more I’ll just accept it.” The wolf whined and licked my neck, his tongue rough and raspy. “It’s only been a few days and I’m already falling into a new routine.”
I still wanted to find Odran, to see if he could help me, but it was true. I’d started sleeping better, and I didn’t mind heating water in the cauldron for a bath, or lighting the fire, or searching the pantry for food. I was eager to read more of Briordan’s books. I’d already planned to startThe Drachmsmith’s Garden, to see if I could start taming the wild little herb garden tucked against the side of the cottage.
It was all too easy. And that was what scared me the most.