“What does that mean?” I asked the cat. “Was this why Odran gave me the book?”
I’d already wondered if the cat and the wolf were friends or familiars of Nua’s. The wolf always made sure I saw the notes pinned to the tree, though there hadn’t been any for a while. And I’d gotten the chickens and started getting game delivered to my doorstep after I’d mentioned it to them. Were they giving messages to Nua for him to help me? But if he could deliver me chickens and meat, why didn’t he just come to the cottage and knock on the door?
But then, they couldn’t be friends of his. Nua had told me not to trust them. Nua had told me not to trust anyone.
When I thought about it all too hard, hopeless anger rose inside me. Nothing was clear or easy—nothing except what I had with Lonan. That was easy. That was honest. I didn’t hide anything from him. I’d told him about the book and said it had meant nothing to me.
He’d asked if he could read it. And I’d noticed the next morning, after he’d gone, that he had left it open on the page with the passage about the Seelie Queen. I’d stared down hard at it, then slammed the book shut and stacked it up with the others.
I felt stupid. Like everyone knew the answer except me, but no one would tell me—not even Lonan. I knew there were things he couldn’t say, although I didn’t fully understand why. And when we were together, I didn’t like talking about it because it just put me in a bad mood and made him tense.
So we ignored it. We ignored the black cloud that loomed over me constantly, the hidden motivations behind the Carlin bringing me here, the notes from Nua, and the fact that I had been here months and still hadn’t shed my mortal skin.
We ignored all of it because those were the things that were likely to tear apart the fragile thing forming between us. And the longer we ignored it, the stronger that thing became.
So we ignored it all.