Emery
I’ve readthe email a hundred times, at least. My eyes scan the dim screen while Graham snores lightly beside me. His body heats envelops me, comforting me, calming me. I used to hate sleeping next to anyone, except maybe Holland. But now…I need to feel him next to me to sleep soundly. A dependency I’ve developed in the last few months. We’ve only been married a week, and most of it has been spent sneaking off for a moment alone. Stolen kisses, whispered promises, plans for our future.
With everything that’s been happening with his ma and our marriage, the girls…Work has been the furthest thing from my mind. Truthfully, I’ve hardly thought of it all. That should surprise me, but now more than ever, I realize that somewhere along the way, my priorities shifted. But Rob’s email brought my job back to the forefront of my mind.
It’s all I’ve been able to think about. I laid awake most of the night, tossing and turning, obsessing over the words on the screen. The girls are sleeping soundly next to us in their travel bassinets, and I’m thankful, more than ever, that they’re sleeping through the night.
Gazing at them, I realize how much has truly changed since they’ve been born. Since Graham entered my life. I imagined this very moment a million times since I decided to pursue law. I imagined the moment I would get this email, or phone call, and tears would stream down my face, the goal I had worked so hard for, tirelessly for, had come to fruition.
I thought it would feel euphoric, like the best accomplishment I had ever had. A victory that I owed no one but myself, after every ounce of blood I had bled for my career. Every sacrifice I made.
And now that I’ve read the email so many times that I’ve memorized the words…I feel nothing.
It feels nothing like I imagined, receiving this email from Rob, the one asking me to become a junior partner at the firm that I’ve dedicated the last five years of my life to. Somewhere along the way, law no longer became my number one priority. Quinn and Charlotte are. Graham is. Our family became my first priority, while my career took a back seat. It’s not that I’m no longer passionate about law, or what I worked so hard for, it’s just that there is nothing in this world that will ever come before my children or my husband. Nothing. Almost losing Graham, watching what he’s going through with his ma, and the love that he’s shown me and the girls? It showed me what’s important in my life, and my priorities shifted. It’s as simple as that.
If I took this promotion, it would mean more work, more hours, more responsibility. More time away from my family, and I’m not willing to sacrifice that for my passion anymore.
The very thing that terrified me when I found out I was pregnant has become my solace. My safe space. My life that I love. Graham is my husband now, and I can’t imagine leaving him here to face this alone. I can’t imagine leaving his mama during her fight.I won’t.
He made a similar choice and put us first, without a second thought. Now I understand why, more than I did. I was worried he was sacrificing his passion, his dream for us, but now I see it for what it was, he was prioritizing me and his daughters. Putting us first.
It’s exactly what I’ll do when faced with the same situation. Every. Single. Time.
Swallowing, I close my phone, staring at the now black screen. I’m not even going to bring it up because there isn’t a chance that I’ll be taking it. I don’t even need to think about it. Not when my family needs me. When Graham needs me.
“Baby?” Graham says groggily, opening one eye to peer at me, “you okay?”
I nod, realizing that my cheeks are wet. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until now.
He sits up abruptly. “Em, you crying? What’s wrong, baby?” His arms slide around me, hauling me back against his body, where he reaches out and uses his thumb to swipe away the tears that have fallen.
“I need to tell you something. Right now.”
The words come tumbling from my mouth before I can stop them. I won’t hide it from him, and I know that the longer it sits inside me festering, the worse I will feel.
“Come on, let’s go to the living room,” he says, gently tugging on my hand. We quietly get out of bed, and I follow closely behind him, down the hallway into the living room. He sits on the plush sofa and pulls me to him until I’m settled in his lap. “Talk to me, baby, what’s going on?”
I can sense the panic in his words, and see the way his jaw tenses as he waits. His eyes hold so much worry that it makes me wilt inside. I don’t think I’ll ever deserve this man; he’s the best man I’ve ever known.
He deserves the world, and I’m going to spend every second of the rest of my life trying to give it to him.
I swallow thickly, the emotion in my throat making it difficult to get the words out I desperately need to say.
“I got an email from Rob…” My eyes search his. All I can see is confusion.
“Okaaaaaay, what’s happening?”
“I got a promotion. He’s offering to make me ajunior partner.”
Graham’s eyes widen, and he sucks in a shocked gasp. “Holy shit, Em. Holy fuck. Baby, that’s what you’ve been working for.” He doesn’t even give me a chance to speak, I open my mouth to respond and his lips are on mine, kissing me hard.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, you know that? You are incredible, and I can’t fucking believe I’m married to you. Hell, I’m so proud being your husband, every damn day. But baby… you worked for this. You have been working since you were in law school for a partner position and to get it this early? Holy shit.”
I put my hand over his mouth, silencing him, as I shake my head.
“I’m not taking it Graham.”
“What?” he cries, his words muffled by my hand.