I love the sound of it on my lips.
“Ma?” I call when we walk through the front door. Charlotte’s in Emery’s arms, and I’m carrying Quinn.
“In here, sweetheart.”
Her voice floats from the kitchen, and my brow furrows. It’s been a while since she’s been in the kitchen. She’s felt too bad to cook.
When we walk into the kitchen, Kathy and Ma are standing at the butcher block island, both of them covered in flour as they pat dough.
It affects me more than I thought it would, seeing her laughing, doing something she’s loved for so long but hasn’t been able to do. Growing up, Ma was always in the kitchen. Always making something sweet for Allie and me, and since she’s been sick… things haven’t been the same.
She and Kathy are standing shoulder to shoulder, both of their eyes twinkling with delight as they knead the dough.
“Ma, you okay?” I ask as I make my way over to her. “Where’s Allie?”
“Oh, I’m fine, Graham. I feel better than I have in the past few days, so I told Kathy I’d teach her your grandma’s homemade strawberry muffin recipe.” She turns to Kathy, the dimple in her cheek popping as she smiles. “Honey, these kids would eat three sandwiches a day when I made this bread. I swear, feeding Graham was like feeding an army. Between this and the strawberry pancakes, he would request them at least once a week.”
“Well, we have some news.”
They both stop to look at us, their hands still buried in flour-covered dough.
I look at Emery, who smirks slyly, then nods ever so slightly, giving me the go ahead.
“We’re getting married… Saturday.”
Ma’s mouth drops open in disbelief. She looks at me, then Emery, and back at me then promptly bursts into tears, a loud wail of a sob, seemingly bursting from her chest. I’m overtaken by emotion, watching my ma fall apart like this. Tears hit the back of my eyes so quick, I feel my chest tightening by the second.
She and Michelle hug each other as they sob, blubbering something about their babies, not believing it’s actually happening.
“Mama,” Emery says, walking over with tears in her own eyes. She uses her free arm to throw around her mom, pulling her against her tightly. “I’m getting married!”
“I can’t believe my baby girl is getting married. Oh, Graham, I’m so happy that it’s you. You love my baby so much.” Kathy covers her mouth with a shaking hand. “Oh god, Em, we have so much to plan. What about your brother and Holland? They have to be here. And a dress? What about a dress, and rings, oh god… flowers? Dresses for the girls.”
She looks over at Ma, panicked, and Ma rubs her forehead in worry. “Kathy, we’ve got some major to planning to do. Wait, where are you even going to get married?”
She looks at the two of us, and I point outside in the direction of the old oak tree in the backyard. “Under the tree, Ma.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, all three of the women are crying again, then both Quinn and Charlotte must feel left out because they start wailing.
I’m surrounded by crying women, and I’ve never been happier in my life. This.
This is what home is.
Surrounded by everyone that you love: tears of happiness, babbling babies, full of love.
Michelle takes the girls in each arm, tears still shining on her cheeks, giving Ma and me a moment.
“My baby, getting married. Oh Graham, your dad would be so proud. SO proud, baby,” Ma says, patting my cheek gently, her thumb swiping away a stray tear that’s escaped from my eyes. Emotion seizes my chest at the mention of my dad.
“I wish he was here, Ma. I’d give anything.”
She nods. “Me too, baby boy. But we both know that he wouldn’t miss this for anything. He’s going to pull up a front row seat in heaven.”
Her shaky finger points toward the sky, and for the millionth time in my life since he’s been gone, I wish for just one more conversation. Five minutes.
Ma pulls me into her frail arms, hugging me tightly against her. I can feel the bony edges of her arms as she holds me to her.
“You’ll be the best father, and the best husband. Just like he was, I know without a doubt. You’re just like him.”