Emery
“Emery, did you get that?”Rob asks, breaking my thoughts from Graham. I clear my throat and glance down at the yellow legal pad in my lap. I have zero idea what he was even talking about, honestly.
Lately, my head has been where my heart is. With Graham. I’m in a constant state of worry about him...about his mom. About missing him and wishing he was home with our girls, but I know he’s exactly where he needs to be. I’ve been worried sick about him. I can see how rough he’s taking everything, the dullness in his eyes, the way that his smile is forced and doesn’t reach his eyes and it physically pains me to be away from him. I just want to hold him, and betherefor him.
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”
Rob sets the pen down. “Can you excuse Emery and me, please?”
Shit.
The other associates file out one by one, and then the door is shut behind them.
“Rob, I’m sorr-”
He holds his hand up to stop me, leaning back in the leather chair behind his desk. “I want you to go.”
His words shock me, my jaw hanging open in disbelief. Is he…firing me?
Before I can even speak, he quickly shakes his head. “No, I’m not firing you. I’m saying that you need to go to Tennessee and be there for your fiancé. His mother has cancer, and truthfully, you’re not here with us, Emery.”
He’s not wrong, and the pang of guilt inside me twinges. I’m not being the employee I should, and he’s noticed.
“I’m so sorry, Rob, I can do better. I ju-”
“I’m going to give you some advice. Don’t make your career your life. You have a family, children, a fiancé who needs you. At the end of the day, a career is nothing without your family.”
He’s right, and logically, I know this. But now… with Graham’s mother being so sick, and him not seeing the girls for weeks, it’s weighing so heavily on me that I can’t seem to even focus on the career that I’ve worked so hard to build. What once was so fulfilling now feels hollow, and more of a burden than anything. I should’ve fought harder to go with him. I shouldn’t have let him walk out the door without us by his side, and I feel so much guilt that he has to be away from us. Missing us, worrying about us on top of having to worry about michelle. It’s not fair to him.
“Go. Take some time to be with your family, and when you get back, dive in clearheaded and ready to take on this case.”
I want to cry in the middle of his office, but something tells me that if I start, I won’t stop. An overwhelming sense of relief fills my chest, it feels like a physical weight has been lifted. Of all the ways I expected this conversation to go, this was not it. All I want is to get home to my girls, and go to their daddy. It’s been so hard without him here, with both girls alone. They miss their daddy and love hearing his voice on the phone, and I just can’t wait for us to be all back together again.
“Thank you, Rob. I didn’t want to ask because I had just gotten off maternity leave… So thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me. Not just this, but the advice.”
He nods, offering a kind smile, then shoos me out the door. “Go, be with your family.”
I stand and grab my things, then quickly make my way to my cubicle. I first grab my phone and text my mom.
Me: What do you say about taking a trip to Tennessee with me for a couple weeks?
Mama: I think that’s a great idea. See you when you get home!
I’m so thankful she said yes because I need her now, more than ever. Especially traveling thousands of miles with infants. I wasn’t too proud to admit that I needed help, and honestly, everything with Graham and his mama has made me appreciate every moment I have with mine.
I want to spend every second I can with her.
Without another glance at the piles of files on my desk, I grab my briefcase and leave the office because the only place I want to be is on a farm in Tennessee with my man, my girls and our families.
The entire time that I’m packing enough clothes for both girls and me for two weeks, I realize how… empty my house is. It’s a moment of reflection because at one point, my life was completely solitary, and I was happy with that.
With the quiet of coming home to an empty house, to being alone and doing everything myself. To having flings and never committing to anyone, never giving them the opportunity to get close to me, but then… Graham changed all of that.
He changed my entire life. He showed me how resilient love is, and that it’s okay to lean on another person for strength. He’s the strength, the love, the happiness that I never knew I needed.
Now, with him gone, everything feels hollow. My house is not filled to the brim with love and I hate that he’s so far away. I hate being without him, and it’s a testament to how far we’ve come. How much I’ve grown in the last year because of my girls and because of him.
They changed me. They make me better every single day. Now I’m the kind of girl that wants to follow my heart, and not my mind. I want to drop everything to show up for the man who has given so much for us, no matter the cost.