Graham
Our makeup blisswas even shorter lived than I thought it would be. Not a full forty-eight hours later, there’s a hard knock on Emery’s front door. I don’t need to wonder, because I know exactly who’s on the other side.
She looks at me and shakes her head, then shrugs. “You knew it was coming.”
Fuck, this is not going to be an easy conversation, and she’s right. I knew they’d show up, sooner rather than later. Setting the bottle of milk down, I walk over to the front door and open it, revealing a fuming Reed.
Behind him is Briggs, Hudson, and Asher, all looking equally pissed.
“You fuckingquit?” Reed says, brushing past me into the house. “Hey sis.”
“Hi Reed.” Emery smirks.
“Hi, my beautiful, perfect nieces who I love so much.” He walks over and scoops them both up into his arms, his anger dissipating while he has them in his arms.
Charlotte and Quinn to the rescue. My attention is on Reed with the girls, so I don’t see Asher’s fist flying toward my arm.
"You’re an asshole, you know that?” he says.
“What the fuck did you just punch me for?”
“Because you’re an asshole and you deserve it. How in the fuck weren’t you going to tell us you quit the goddamn team, Graham?”
I feel like shit that I didn’t tell them before I made the decision, and turned in my notice, but I also didn’t want them to try and talk me out of it. My mind’s made up.
“Because I knew you’d try to talk me out of it.”
Emery takes Charlotte and Quinn from Reed, and gets them into their infant carriers before turning back to us, “Me and the girls are going to go shopping for a bit, give you guys some privacy.”. Her hands are full with the car seats, and she’s got the girl's diaper backpack on. I lean over and give her a lingering peck on the lips before she disappears through the front door.
“You fucking quit,” Reed says for the second time since stepping foot in our living room.
"Hell, it's not even that I can't believe you quit, it’s that you didn’t even fucking tell us. We’re your brothers, your best friends, and we had to find this shit out from Coach? That’s fucked, Adams," Reed says angrily.
I don't feel guilty about the decision I made because I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it's the right choice, that choosing my girls is the right decision. Is it fucking insane I'm no longer a hockey player when I've worked my entire life toward that exact goal? Absolutely. Fuck, that's scary as hell. But I know that as long as I have Emery, Charlotte, and Quinn, I’ll figure the rest out. I’m not sure hockey even makes me happy anymore if it means being away from my girls.
"Yeah, what kind of shit is that?" Briggs says. "What in the hell are you thinking, Adams? You just threw away everything, just like that?"
Sighing, I run my hands through my hair in frustration, "I'm thinking that walking away from hockey feels more right than Washington ever did. Look, I know this is shocking and I'm fucking sorry that I didn't tell you guys before now. I'm sorry that you found out from Coach. But I’m not sorry for walking away. I mean… I don't know, I wasn't even planning on doing this. I was just going through it for the past week, thinking that I'm about to have to pick up my entire life and leave Chicago and then it just dawned on me that if I had to walk away from hockey to be happy, to make my girls happy, to keep the love of my life then fuck it, I’m going to do it. I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep my family together because somewhere along the line, I realized that hockey isn't my dream anymore. My family is. Period. I’m doing this for me."
A small smile tugs at the corner of Reed’s lips. He walks over to me and for a second it looks like he might hit me but he slaps me on the back and pulls me into a hug. "I knew you'd figure it out. Looks like you made the right decision because you look happier than you have in the past two months. Hell, my sister looks happier than she has in the last two months. Do I think you're fucking insane for quitting the NHL? Hell yeah, I do, but I also know that you wouldn't make a decision unless you are sure. I've seen the change in you, not just in the past few months, but since you found out you were going to be a dad, and now more than ever, I have full confidence that you're going to take care of Emery and those girls.”
His words settle over me, acceptance that I didn't even know I needed. I'm confident in this choice. I'm confident in my decision to walk away from the NHL. Just because I'm not playing for the NHL anymore doesn't mean that I'm giving up hockey completely. It just means that that's not the course that my life is on right now.
"I just can't believe you did it," Hudson says, shaking his head. "This is all you have worked for since you were a teenager, Adams. It feels like you're going through a midlife crisis or some shit."
I laugh and shrug slightly. "Nah, that's not what this is. Listen, when I got the news that I was being traded to Washington, it felt like my entire world was crashing down around me. I know you fuckers say that I'm dramatic and you say that I'm too much, but it’s the truth. Being traded to Washington made me open my eyes and made me realize that there is more out there than hockey, and frankly, sacrificing hockey to make Emery happy, so she can follow her dreams, is nothing, it's not even a sacrifice for me. Who knows, maybe I'll coach or maybe I'll go into broadcasting. Who fucking knows? But the best part is that I get to choose."
Briggs, Hudson, and Asher all are still looking at me like I've grown three heads. And I expected it. I knew this was coming and I knew it was gonna be a bitter pill for everyone to swallow because either decision, whether I was being traded to Washington or whether I quit… hockey’s been my world for the most of my life.. Now, my world has changed. My dreams have changed. My future has changed. And I couldn’t wait for it to start.
"So, what's your plan? You just quit hockey; you have nothing lined up? What were you thinking, Graham?" Asher asks. He doesn't say it with malice, he says it with genuine concern that I can read in every expression on his face.
I get it. Hell, my mom and sister probably will have heart failure when they find out that I’ve up and quit hockey with no plan.
"What are you going to be a stay-at-home dad?" Briggs asks.
"Fuck you, don't act like being a stay-at-home dad is a bad thing. It’s the new millennial, who the fuck worries about gender roles, dickhead? So what if I stay home with the girls? So what if Emery is the one who has a successful, flourishing career. I'm perfectly content staying home with my kids if that's what we decide," I shrug, "But we haven't decided what we're going to do yet. You four just busted down the door before any decisions have been made.”
"So I guess this means you'll be staying here in Chicago then?" Hudson asks.