It’s heaven hearing her say it.
A heaven I never thought I’d be worthy enough to enter.
Without another thought, I capture her lips with mine, kissing her with every ounce of love that I’ve been holding inside for months. I want everyone to know. This ismygirl. Mine. She pulls on my hair as I kiss her breathless, and my tongue tangles with hers. I wrench my lips from hers to stare into her stormy eyes.
“I made new rules for us. In my head, I’ve been going over them every time I thought about how to tell you this. To tell you that I fell in love with you despite those damn rules. I’ve come to hate them, so I made new ones.”
I sit back and hold her eyes as a small grin tugs at the corner of my lips. “One: Fall in love every day. Never stop showing you how much you mean to me, and giving you reasons to fall in love with me.”
She covers her mouth and she squeezes her eyes shut as her mascara runs down her face. God, even now, she’s fucking beautiful.
“Two: Shout it to the world. I’m never going to not show my love for you. I want everyone in the goddamn world to know that I’m the bastard that’s lucky enough to love you, Holland Parker. I’ll put it on the jumbotron. On every damn billboard in Chicago.”
“And three: Always stay stocked with gummy worms.” Holland tosses her head back and lets out a watery laugh. It makes me chuckle. “I mean it, babe. I promise to always have them on hand, because I can’t imagine not having you with me and Evan. At night, in the morning, every fucking day. You’re the only one for me, Holland.”
“I don’t know how to tell Emery this. How do I tell her that I lied to her and fell in love with her brother? I’m scared to lose her. She’s my best friend, Reed.”
“We take it day by day. We sit down, think of what we’re going to say, and then we do it. She’s going to be angry, I’m sure. She’s like a feisty little Pomeranian, she’ll probably try and bite my fucking head off. But my sister has a heart of gold, and you know that. She’ll eventually forgive us.”
Holland bites her lip, and I can still see the hesitation in her eyes. The fire has started to die, and I can feel her starting to shiver.
“Babe, we have to go inside, you’re fucking freezing.”
“I am pretty cold,” she says quietly, “I just need to time to process this. It’s a lot and I just... I need some time, okay?”
“I’m not going anywhere. Take as much time as you need. I just needed you to know how I felt, and that what I feel for you, it’s not going away.”
I stand and take her hand and wait for her to gather the blanket she had around her shoulders before we make our way into the cabin. It’s dark and quiet inside, and I know Ma’s already asleep.
“My room’s at the end of the hallway, and yours is right here.”
Even though it’s only three doors down, it feels like she’s across the damn world right now. But I’ll respect her wishes for space. I put the ball in her court tonight, and I understand her need to sort through everything. Hell, I’ve spent the past few months trying to figure out my own shit.
“Goodnight, Reed.” She lifts up on her tiptoes and kisses me, quick and sweet, then opens the door and closes it shut quietly behind her.
I stare at the door once she’s gone, hoping that the conclusion she comes to is that she wants this just as much as I do. My chest feels lighter, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad that I confessed my feelings to her, to have it off my chest and in the open. I walk to the room Evan’s in and peek inside to make sure he’s okay. His sea-animal light is spinning blue and green shapes onto the ceiling, and he’s fast asleep, still clutching Pickles. Shutting the door, I head to my room and walk inside.
It’s going to be a long fucking night, knowing Holland is right down the hall, and I can’t touch her. After a shower and spending hours tossing and turning, I fall asleep. The last time I looked at the glowing numbers on the clock, it was two thirty. The sound of my door creaking open and the covers being pulled back causes me to stir.
I crack open one eye and see Holland sliding into bed next to me. I wrap the covers back around us, to keep in the warmth, and loop my arm around her, pulling her against me.
“I couldn’t sleep. I needed to see you,” she murmurs, peppering kisses along my jaw. Her cold hands slip under the hoodie I tossed on, to rest on my stomach, and I grin. My girl and her cold hands and feet. She's constantly putting them on me to steal some of my body heat.
I’m still half asleep, but fuck, I’m glad she’s here.
“I really want some Captain Crunch, but it didn’t feel right to sneak any without you.”
I laugh. “Is that so? I’m glad you didn’t, because then I’d have to label you a traitor.”
She sits up and smirks. “Better come on then.” The covers are tossed back and she’s tiptoeing down the hallway before I can even get out of the bed. I climb out and follow behind her into the kitchen. She’s on her tiptoes, trying to get the box from on top of the fridge, and I come up behind her, pressing her against it. Her sweet, pert ass brushes along my length, and in any other circumstance, I’d fuck her right here, having her clutch the fridge for dear life, but alas… I have to behave.
She giggles when I reach past her head and get the box. “I can’t help it you're a giant.”
Leaning down, I whisper into her ear, “Babe, it doesn’t help my ego when you talk about how big I am.”
Her elbow connects lightly with my stomach, and I laugh, handing her the box, but before she can grab a bowl, I pull her back against me and kiss the sensitive spot behind her ear, trailing down to the column of her neck.
“Might wanna set that box down, Holl.”