My eyes sting with tears.I don’t want you to go!I hear myself scream inside my head. Do I say it? Surely, he already knows. I need to say something, but if I speak now, I will cry, so I turn to look out the window instead. I take a few breaths, blink my eyes, and swallow down the painful lump. I watched my mother do this many times with poise, grace, and emotional dignity. I must be capable of the same.
One more breath. “That is certainly unfortunate news,” I say, feeling weak as I stare at my lap, where my hands fidget with one another. “But it is your duty, and duty comes first. I am the wife of a captain in the King’s Navy. Therefore, it is my duty to support you and pray for your safety, that you find victory, and that you may have a speedy return.”
I cannot tell from his expression if he is angry with my response or the situation itself. But he has a predatorial vibe as he walks around his desk toward me.
“Stand up, Ella.” The gruff command tingles through my body, settling between my legs.
He lifts my chin and smiles down at me. “Ye are a stubborn creature, faerie maiden. I think ye’ve got a bit o’ Scots hidden somewhere in yer family tree.” He rubs his thumb across my bottom lip as his face turns serious. “Are ye going to miss me, Ella?”
My stomach tightens. “Yes.”
His thumb presses harder on my lips, commanding them to part and when they do, my tongue instinctively comes out to tease the tip, forcing a hiss to escape his firm mouth.
“Do ye want me to leave?” he asks through gritted teeth.
I shake my head in response as my lips release his thumb.
“Say it.” His tone startles me.
“I don’t want you to leave, Alasdair.”
“Why not?” His hand wraps around the back of my neck, his grip tight as he pulls me closer.
“Because…we…we’ve only just got here…only just been wed. I…I like spending time with you.”
“Yer sure there is’na more?”
He brings his mouth close enough to touch mine, but he doesn’t kiss me. My body is trembling with anxiety, fear, sadness—and intense arousal.
“Alasdair…please,” I whisper.
He steps back and looks down at my gown, obviously pleased with his observation. “I want ye to go upstairs to yer room and undress completely, then stand at the foot of the bed, back to the door, close yer eyes and wait fer me. When I enter the room, keep yer eyes closed and do’na turn around. Understand?”
“I…ah…” I stutter incomprehensibly.
The only reply I get from Alasdair is one raised brow and a challenging glare.
“Alasdair…”
“Do ye trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Then go.”
And so, I do. I turn and walk out of the library, closing the door behind me with a gentle click. I scurry down the hall and up the stairs, nervous I will not be ready by the time he gets there. After only a few weeks, he has introduced me to so many ways a man and woman can come together, all of which I have thoroughly enjoyed, but just now, his demeanor was so different, and his command has me confused about what he has in store.
Regardless, I do his bidding and find myself standing at the foot of my bed naked, the cool air drifting around my body, tightening my nipples. I’m staring at my bed, trying to imagine what he will do to me there, then remember he said he wanted me to close my eyes. When I do, I find it is easier to imagine his masterful hands and beautiful body bringing me the ultimate pleasure. The cool air seems to fluctuate more, the silence of the room now heavy around me; my awareness seems to be blossoming, and the anticipation is overwhelming.
Just then, I hear the faint echo of footsteps in the hall outside my room, and my heartbeat ratchets higher. They get louder with each ticking second, their cadence controlled, measured, distinguished. My body flushes with heat, pooling with desire between my legs. The footsteps are louder now, echoing in my ears, making me shiver with need. When they stop, right outside the door, my head falls back, and I almost beg him to open it and come inside.
Finally, the latch opens, then closes, the sound bouncing across the walls and high ceiling. He waits before walking toward me, again building the anticipation that is ready to burst from my veins. Ten steps, each one like an erotic touch, and then he is behind me. He’s not touching me, but I know he’s there—his warmth, his woodsy scent, his arousal.
“Ye have no idea the gift ye have presented to me, Ella,” he says next to my ear. “I will take it wi’ me on this journey and know that my love is waiting fer me to return.”
His words make my chest tight with emotion. I want to turn and put my arms around him, beg him not to leave. But I don’t.
He taps the inside of my foot with his own. “Open yer legs.”