Chapter 9
ASA
Standing outsideon Taylor’s driveway at three-thirty the next morning, I hold her extra tight against my chest. I don’t want to let her go. I fear I may never want to let this woman go. We still don’t know much about each other. Well, Taylor knows a shit ton about me, but I’ve only scratched the surface of what makes Taylor the amazing woman she is. What I do know though, makes me want to know more.
This situation with my dad sucks and is worrisome, but what makes it even worse is I won’t be able to come back to Silver Falls once my dad is well enough for me to leave home. I’ve already stayed in Silver Falls too long. I should have headed back to San Diego a week ago to get ready for our next tour, but once I met Taylor, I didn’t want to leave. I’ve got no choice now.
Mom said the recovery time for a heart valve repair is typically four to six weeks, but if all goes well Dad should be on his feet before then. He’ll just have to take it easy for a while. Dad’s been retired from the fire department for a few years now, but he’s never been the type to sit idle. He’ll be on bed rest for weeks, and Mom’s going to have her hands full because of it. Thankfully, Parker lives close by, so I don’t need to worry as much while I’m on the road with the band.
“Be safe on your flight. And please call or text me when you land,” Taylor says, lifting her head from my chest to stare up at me.
“I will.” I drop my head and kiss her lips.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask her to come with me, but I hold the words back. As much as I want Taylor by my side, my focus needs to be firmly on my dad.
“I’ve got to go,” I murmur against her lips, hating to say those words. Strangely, it doesn’t feel right leaving Taylor.
“Yeah,” she says back morosely.
When she releases the hold she has around my neck and tries to pull away, I tighten my grip around her waist. “One more kiss.”
She gets back to her toes and we share another kiss. It’s a slow, leisurely kiss. One that’ll have to last for us both.
Taylor and I haven’t shared what we feel for each other, other than the intense sexual chemistry, so I don’t know if this is as hard for her as it is for me. I wish things were different. I’ve never wanted a lasting relationship with a woman, but I’d give my left nut for one with Taylor. Unfortunately, that’s not in the cards for us right now.
“Go,” she says, pushing against my chest.
I look in her eyes as I take a step back, and I have to swallow the lump in my throat when I see the pain lurking in her gorgeous, green eyes. She tries to hide it, but I can see the pain.
“Go take care of your family,” she urges.
With a nod, I walk backward toward the Tahoe. I’m forced to look away so I can drop my guitar case and luggage in the back of the vehicle. I checked out of my hotel room a couple of days ago. There was no sense keeping it when I spent most of my time with Taylor at her house.
As I climb behind the wheel, I desperately want to say I’ll see you later, but I don’t know if that’s a possibility. I give her a smile instead. She smiles back, but it’s wobbly. Even through the windshield, I can see her eyes glazing over with tears.
Why in the fuck is it so hard to leave her?
* * *
I didn’t realizehow hard it would be to see my dad lying in a hospital bed until I walked through the door early that afternoon. Mom’s a tiny woman at only five-foot three. I can practically wrap my hands around her waist. Parker and I got our height and build from our dad, who’s six-three. It’s odd seeing my parents standing next to each other because Dad is a solid foot taller than her and is over double her weight.
Mom’s in a chair beside Dad’s bed and Parker is sitting in a chair by the window. All three notice me when I walk through the doorway. Mom immediately gets up and walks over to me. My arms are already open, waiting for her to step into them. She buries her head against my chest, her body instantly relaxing against mine.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she says with a sniffle.
“Of course, I would be here. There’s no other place more important.” I pull back and hold her at arm’s length so I can look at her. “How are you holding up?” I cut her off when she opens her mouth and I add, “The truth, Mom.”
Her lips twist into an uneven smile “I’m better now. Having both of my boys here will help.”
I look at Dad over her shoulder to find his eyes on us. I bring my gaze back to Mom. “How is he doing?”
She huffs out a laugh. “You know how your dad is. He’s more worried about how I’m doing than he’s worried about himself.”
“That’s because you’re worried for nothing.” Dad’s gruff voice fills the room. “The doctors here are good, Cat. I’ll be fine.”
Mom spins around to face her husband, throwing one of her hands on her hip. I can just imagine the glare she’s giving him. “You’re having heart surgery, Nathaniel. There’s nothing you or the doctors can say that will ease my worry until this is over. I don’t know about you, but I take that crap very seriously. It’s me and our boys who will be left behind,” her voice breaks, “if something should go wrong tomorrow.”
I take a step forward to gather Mom in my arms again, but Dad’s commanding voice stops me before I can.
“Come here.”
Mom doesn’t need to be told twice before she’s quickly moving across the room. She steps up to his bed and Dad reaches out, pulling her head down by the back of her neck.
Growing up, Parker and I were a constant witness to the deep love Mom and Dad share. They’ve always been very affectionate toward each other. Not in a creepy way. Just in a way that leaves no doubt what they feel for each other.
I turn away from them and meet my brother’s eyes. He looks stiff as he sits in the chair. Parker came as an oops baby ten years after I was born. Although he wasn’t planned, Mom and Dad were ecstatic. He’s in med school right now to become a doctor.
He gets up from his chair and we do our back slap hug thing. Parker and I talk frequently, but with my hectic schedule, I don’t get to see him or my parents as much as I’d like.
“It’s good to see you, man.”
“Same,” I respond. “How’s school? With only a year left, you’ve got to be jonesing to graduate.”
“It’s good, and I’m counting down the days.”
“Have you heard from Helen General about your residency?”
“Yep.” He shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. “They approved my application.” His eyes move to where Mom and Dad are talking quietly and he frowns. “The last seven years of my life seem pointless right now. I hate not being able to help in this situation.”
I grip his shoulder and squeeze. “He’s got all the help he needs right now. Besides, Dad’s a stubborn bastard. He’s more likely to listen to a random doctor than his own son when it comes to his health. No matter how much you’ve worked your ass off to earn a medical degree.”