Kenzie
Iwas completely dumbfounded and devastated. Jonas had found out about Tori and in the worst way possible. After everything that had been shared between us the night before, I had considered telling him about her too, but then I thought about the long-term ramifications and chose to remain silent. Would I have ever told him? I would’ve at some point, especially if things continued to progress between us. Blame my own stupidity, but I never pictured Jonas running into our daughter, so I had hadn’t planned what I would say or do if the two ever did cross paths. That misstep might now cost my sister the child she loved so much, and it likely already cost me the man I loved.
Love. I once was so consumed by that emotion when it came to Jonas, so it wasn’t a surprise that I fell so hard for him again. There were many differences from the first time. I was no longer the naïve girl hanging off his every word. I was more experienced in all things of the world, and I had been down this same road before so I knew there would be bumps along it. This, however, was a catastrophic hole I’d never be able to climb out of in one piece. Any hopes of escaping this clusterfuck unscathed was quickly dissipating before my very own eyes.
His warning rang in my ears, and I knew from the vehemence in his voice that he wasn’t making an idle threat. He had the means and opportunity to make my life a living hell, even if a judge ruled in our favor and didn’t yank poor Tori away from the only parents she’d ever known.
Tori. Oh my God! My beautiful girl would be ripped from the loving arms of Madeleine and her husband and placed in his world, where the atrocities that happened to him when he’d been younger could very well happen to her, too. I couldn’t allow it, but how could I stop what had been set into motion? I was so stupid to have brought him here. Of all places, I should’ve just stopped somewhere and bought something else to wear, or at the least, I should’ve made sure no one else was home.
Jonas was so pissed, and rightfully so, but I was mad, too. He’d not only stolen my innocence all those years ago, but he left me with a reminder of that one singular night. He’d been able to move on with his life so easily after he’d ruined mine, but not me. I was labeled a freak and disowned by my parents, then subjected to all that psychiatric care before being shipped off to distant relatives because no one wanted to be around me. I was pregnant, scared, and I made the best decision for the life I carried and nurtured for nine long months. Now, everything I had done came rushing back and was tightening around my neck like a noose.
He was going to take her away from us, and I would be lucky to even see a picture of her as she continued to grow into a beautiful, compassionate woman who wouldn’t repeat my own stupid mistakes. She was the best part of me, and of Jonas; and his globe-trotting and sex-filled lifestyle would annihilate her innocence as it had done mine.
My heart was beating out of my chest, and I staggered over to the counter to brace myself up. My hands were already clammy and slowly slipping off the granite stone I was gripping for dear life. The walls drew closer as the room closed in on me. I could barely breathe, each harsh one a reminder that the world as I knew it was slowly ending. It’d be only be a matter of time before he sicced his high-priced attorneys on me and uprooted a child from her parents and loving family, all because of what? Vengeance? Hurt feelings? Power?
“Noooo,” I cried out.
“Kenzie, are you okay?” Madeleine asked the second she walked into the kitchen and saw me. “You look pale. Come sit down and talk to me about it.”
My family knew I suffered from severe anxiety and panic attacks, so none of them would ever be shocked to see me like this. My first started when I was about twelve, and as I grew older, they came more frequently. My father didn’t believe in modern medicine, so he did nothing about them until I got older, and that fateful afternoon on the rooftop of the high school took place. He pretended I didn’t have something evil inside of me that his lectures and sermons couldn’t erase, and he shipped me off to a psych hospital where I spent the worst few weeks of my entire life.
I’d been so scared, much like I was now. At the time, I didn’t really understand what was happening to me, and I had gotten so tired of trying to deny any suicidal ideations that a few actually entered my mind if for no reason other than to make the pain stop. It was as if I wanted to give them what they were looking for so they would leave me be.
I then found out I was pregnant. My parents were strictly against abortion, not that I had considered it for more than a few seconds to begin with. I knew I would be forced to have this child who’d always be a reminder of Jonas and what he’d done to me. I wanted to have her, then never lay eyes on her again, but during my pregnancy, my sister suffered her third miscarriage, and was told she’d never be able to conceive children of her own. It devastated me as much as it did her because I didn’t want the child growing inside of me while she wanted the one that had been growing inside of her more than life itself. I’d made the decision at that point to give her what she desired above all else. Now, I was going to rip it all away from her.
“T-Tori. Where is she?” I asked, needing to know. There was no way Jonas could’ve already taken her, but rationality wasn’t something I possessed now.
Madeleine moved over to me and I allowed her to help me to a chair. I stumbled over my own feet, and I was honestly surprised I didn’t fall. I could barely formulate a thought, much less put one foot in front of me. I made it over and once I was slumped against one of the tall camelback chairs, I laid my head in my hands.
“Just take it easy and breathe, Kenzie. Whatever it is will be okay.”
She rubbed my back so soothingly, and I hated myself even more. My sister was so loving to me, unknowing of the shitstorm I was about to bring into her life. Each gentle touch or soft-spoken word only drove home the point my father had once tried to make. I was indeed evil, and I ruined everything I touched.
A sob escaped. “I-I’m so sorry.”
“Shhh. You have nothing to apologize for. Just tell me what upset you. Was it the male voice I heard?”
She had heard Jonas. She obviously hadn’t heard the conversation or else she’d be packing up things for Tori and leaving town before her child could be ripped from her arms. She would also be railing against me for destroying her life, and certainly not trying to console me.
“H-he’s gone.” It was all I could say. I knew it in my heart that he would never come back either. I wasn’t this illusion he carried with him for all these years.
“Who was he?” she asked.
I shook my head vehemently. “It doesn’t matter. All that does is you knowing that I love you so much. I love Tori so much. I—”
“Of course, you love us, and we love you. You’re worrying me, Kenzie. Who was that man, and—”
“He is a friend of Auntie Kenzie,” Tori said from the doorway. “And he has superpowers, too.”
“Superpowers, baby?” Madeleine asked her daughter.
“His hair is red just like mine,” she proudly responded.
I remember how she was teased in kindergarten about her hair color. My sister and her husband had explained to Tori that her red hair wasn’t something to be mocked but to be embraced. They told her it gave her superpowers, and that had been enough to dry her tears. I glanced over at my sister who didn’t seem to be putting two and two together.
“Where did he go?” she finally asked me as she looked up into my eyes.
“He had to go to work.” It was the best that I could come up with. In fact, it was something I needed to do myself, but not before I convinced my sister to flee with Tori. “Can you give me and your mother a few minutes alone?”