“And second, I’m not falling in love with her.I just had dinner and saw a concert with her.That’s it.”
“Well, you might want to slow things down.I mean, she is a mom so…”
“SoHandelis a bit much for her tohandle?”I shoot for a pun.
“What?”
“Handel.Handel’sMessiah.”
There’s a pause that tells me he’s definitely not up to speed on classical Christmas music.
“Uh, no,” he finally answers.“I mean, she probably doesn’t date much.How the hell could she?Babysitters are expensive.”
“Really?And you’d know this, how?”
“We’re researching every angle of this parenthood thing.And believe me, she’s not dating as much as other women you’ve dated.So if you come on too strong, she might bolt.Panic or something.”
I ponder for a moment.I didn’t think I was coming on too strong.Maybe that first kiss in the gazebo at the Academy was a little intense, but I’m pretty sure that she was wanting it just as much as I was.
“Panic?”I finally repeat, thinking about the final moments of our date.“You mean like… ask me in for a drink and then suddenly use the excuse that she can’t because she forgot she’s getting her oil changed in the morning?”
Mason cackles loudly.“That’s a good one.I should tell Freya that.She could use it in a book.Sounds a little implausible, but funny as hell.”
“That’s actually what happened,” I deadpan.
“Oh, seriously?”His laughter intensifies.“Yeah, that totally sounds like she was panicking.And an oil change?Ha!Iloveit.You need to back off for a little while.”
“But Nicholas is coming home in a couple weeks.It’s kind of now or never.”
“Then just—keep it more casual.Keep it chill.”
“Chill.Like doing what?”
“I don’t know.Just not dinner and a concert again.That’s more like third date type of plans.”
“Okay.So avoid the kid, keep it chill, and don’t make snow angels.Any other valuable advice for dating a mom?”My tone is laced with sarcasm because I’m finding him to be as useless as tits on a bull.
“Use protection.Because clearly, she’s fertile,” Mason snorts.
“Shut up, Mason.”