“Yeah. But—” I pause out of sheer disbelief. “—youread her books?”
“Of courseI read her books. Welcome to marriage. I edit and proof them maybe three or four times before she even publishes them.”
“Wow. I always wondered what she saw in you.”
“Now you know.”
I feel the creases on my forehead deepen, curious as hell. “And this Almost Kiss thing…”
“Sometimes referred to as the Near Miss Kiss,” he interjects with authority. “It’s actually kind of stolen from Bollywood.”
“Bollywood?”
“Yeah. You know, Hollywood, but in India. They call it Bollywood. And the Almost Kiss was widely popularized in Bollywood films. Now it’s in at least half the romance novels out there. At least.”
My face elongates, feeling strangely impressed that he sounds like some kind of a textbook authority. “You really know about this shit.”
“Absolutely. There’s practically a science to it. And if you had an Almost Kiss, you should just ask her out.”
“Even if she said she doesn’t date military guys?”
“Dude, I can’t even count how many times Freya told me I wasn’t her type before I suddenly became her type.” He chuckles. “So, just ask her out for something casual—you know, not as a date. Just something that two friends do together. And see if she makes a move.”
“Like go out for pizza and a movie or something?”
“Pizza and a movie?” He snorts. “Sure, if your dad will loan you the keys to his car. What are you, in high school?”
“If I ask her out to something fancier, it could get awkward if she says no,” I point out. “But pizza’s casual.Friendsgo out for pizza.”
“Yeah, but you won’t be able to figure out if she’s into you. What you need is… I don’t know. One of those settings like my wife always writes about in her books.”
I find myself pacing the small room. “Like…?”
“A festival or fair or something.”
I stop in my tracks. “A what?”
“Yeah. They’re always doing things like that in Freya’s books. You know, and then you can play one of those games where you can win her a big stuffed animal.”
“Do you have any idea how lame that sounds?”
“Hey, you asked. Or maybe a vineyard tour.”
“Are there vineyards in Georgia?”
“Do I look like Google to you?” he retorts. “But couples always go to places like vineyards in Freya’s books. And there’s always food involved.”
“But not pizza?”
“No. Things that you’d never normally eat. Like charcuterie plates or fondue. Or you could enter a baking contest together.”
“Are you high?” I can’t resist joking.
“Just sayin’. So stick with the festival idea. There’s bound to be something around there. It’s the South. They love festivals.”
“They do?”
“In her books, they do.”