“Okay, you asked for it,” I resign. “I worked at a huge consulting firm—one of those places that big corporations hire to see how they can be more efficient. It was a great job, money-wise.”
“It must have been if you were buying yourself a vacation home in your twenties,” he points out.
“Exactly. So, anyway, when my brother got injured on his last SEAL mission, my mom called me at the firm. It was a big day, too—my team had a huge presentation that we’d been preparing for. I was the lead on it. And it was our biggest client—Darcy McKeen International—”
“I’ve heard of them. They make shipping containers, right?”
“Right. And their contract was up for renewal. They’d put out an RFP to other firms. Request for proposals, you know? So this presentationhadto go well.”
“Uh-oh,” he says, sensing the climax of my story coming.
I pause and something about the sound of the ocean in the distance soothes me. “I should have said something to my team. I should have had someone else take over for me. But my annual review was coming up that next week. I didn’t want to lose this opportunity to really nail it. I’d been preparing for weeks. So I just decided to power through it.”
“And it didn’t go well?”
I breathe out a sigh. “To say the least. I—had a breakdown, really. Right in front of the clients. It was…” I shake my head, almost shivering from the memory of it, even years later. “…epic.”
He cringes. “Ouch.”
“It was like… one minute I was standing in the front of that conference room with my presentation, saying all those things I had rehearsed so many times, and the next…” My voice trails, and I shake my head. “It’s like what my mother said to me suddenly sunk in. And I’m picturing my brother getting shot up and bleeding out and being rushed on a helicopter to safety. I practically could see him, unconscious. It was like I was there. And I’m not really a person with a great imagination, you know? It’s not like I sit around watching war movies either. So it was unexpected and overwhelming and…” My voice trails.
“Stress can really do things to the brain.”
“Apparently.” I look down at my hands, remembering. “I was shaking, literally. And the tears just kept coming. I know it doesn’t make sense.”
“Makes perfect sense to me. When someone you care about gets hurt, it’s natural to be wondering where they are or what they’re going through. To relive it over and over even though you weren’t there.”
I can’t help studying his face as he says it. “Natural? From the horror in everyone’s eyes, it felt like I was the only person on the planet to ever experience that.”
“God, no. A lot of Soldiers experience that when someone close to them gets injured or killed. I hope your friends at work helped you get through it.”
I practically cackle my reply. “Helpedme? No, they deserted me.”
“What?”
“We lost the client. And I got fired. Other people lost their jobs too, because it was a big client and that’s what happens when the money disappears. I failed my firm—failed myfriends, really—because most of the people I hung out with were work-related.”
“You failedthem? Sounds to me like they failedyou.”
“I suppose so. Even my fiancé dumped me.”
“You’re kidding.”
“He worked there too.” I force a laugh. “Alan wanted his name on the firm’s door one day, the same as I did. He wanted to be a partner. But no one ever got partnership by hanging out with the person who got fired.”
“Your ex is a douche.” His tone is irate.
“You’ll get no argument from me.” I try to brush off the memory. “So anyway, you can see why a low-key job at the diner appealed.”
I could tell him more… so much more as he listens so patiently, sitting under the stars with my dog’s warm head on my lap. But I shouldn’t. It’s too easy… talking to him, being with him.
I glance down at my burger. “Oh! I forgot the ketchup,” I say, quickly standing even though I don’t need ketchup. Bo’s burgers are seasoned to perfection.
But Idoneed to step away for a moment—to stop myself from sharing too much. To catch my breath.
He stands. “I’ll get it.”
“No, no, I will,” I say, retreating quickly to the house with Junie following me at my heels, as always. Alone inside, I press my hands against the kitchen counter as though to steady my soul.