LUNA
This wasthe very definition of heaven, at least as far as I was concerned. I stretched my overused limbs before curling deeper into Nate’s side. This was quickly becoming one of my favorite places to be, right here, wrapped in his arms, after sex.
There hadn’t been many instances for this kind of snuggling lately, but when Evan had swung by the office earlier to tell Nate she’d been invited to a sleepover at a friend’s house, a sense of giddiness tore through me before he’d had a chance to answer. He asked her question after question, everything to ensure his daughter’s safety, before casting his eyes to me and smiling in a way that warmed me from the inside out. I hadn’t been able to stop myself from returning it.
He said yes, after laying down some ground rules, of course, and when she went skipping out of the building, he’d given me a look that could have melted the iceberg that downed the Titanic as he braced his hands on my desk and leaned in to speak against my lips. “I hope you aren’t planning on sleeping tonight, because I’m staying over.”
My lady parts had practically stood up and danced a jig. Now we were both sated, worn out, and snuggled together in my super-soft sheets.
I hummed contently as he softly traced random patterns on my hip with the tips of his fingers. “I know this is only our second one, but I’m starting to really like these sleepovers.”
“Me too,” he said on a chuckle. He trailed his fingers along my side, over my ribs and the side of my breast. “You know,” he started softly, “we could have more of these if you weren’t so determined to keep us a secret.”
I let out a small laugh. “You’re funny,” I said in a teasing tone. “You know we can’t do that.”
He tucked his chin into his neck so he could look down at me. “Why not” he asked, genuine curiosity swimming in his gaze.
I pulled back to get a better look at his face. “Wait. You’re serious?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, think about it. What we have is pretty great. What’s so wrong with people finding out? Would it really be the end of the world?”
“I think you might’ve forgotten how small towns operate,” I teased, trying to bring levity back into a conversation that had suddenly gotten way too serious. “Letting people know we’re sleeping together is asking for trouble. We’ll be bombarded with questions, curious stares, people speculating on when or if you’re going to propose.”
He lifted his brows until they nearly kissed his hairline. “So?”
I stayed silent, waiting to see if he was messing with me. When it became obvious he wasn’t, I sat up and pulled the sheet around my chest to cover my nakedness. “Okay, if that’s not enough, how about the fact your daughter would find out? Or your parents? I don’t know about you, but that seems like a lot of trouble to go through for a hookup.”
He pushed himself up, resting his back against the headboard, his face hard as stone and his eyes flashing with a brewing storm. “This isn’t just a hookup,” he said in the voice akin to a growl. “You know that, so don’t act like what I’m saying is news to you.”
My heart began to beat staccato against my ribs, the saliva in my mouth drying up like I’d sucked on a cotton ball. “Nate.” I blinked wide eyes. “You know what this is, we talked about this. You knew the score from the very beginning.”
“That’s true, but the score changed,” he said definitively. “Tell me you don’t feel for me what I feel for you. Tell me you don’t want to be with me, and really truly mean it, and I’ll agree that’s all we are. But you have to mean it. No lies.”
“What are you doing?” I asked my voice rising as panic stirred in my blood. “You can’t just change the rules.”
“Fuck the rules!” he barked so fiercely I jumped. “Fuck the rules and fuck what people think. What we have is fucking incredible. You know that. This thing between us, it doesn’t come around every day. Hell, most people are lucky to feel it just once. I love you.”
“Stop,” I croaked as the air whooshed out of my lungs.
“No, I won’t stop. I love you, and you love me, damn it. This right here, this is what’s real.” He took my hand and placed it against his chest, right over the steady beat of his heart. “I know that because the only time I’ve ever felt this, ever known something down to my soul, was the first time I saw Evan.”
“Don’t say that,” I pleaded. “Nate, just stop. Don’t ruin this.”
He went from angry to passionate to gentle so fast my head began to spin. “I’m not trying to ruin it, baby.” He took my face in his hands, his touch so tender it nearly brought tears to my eyes. “I’m trying to make you see how right this is. I can make you happy, Luna. I swear to God. I can make you happier than you’ve ever been if you’ll let me.”
I jerked my face from his hold and rolled off the mattress before he had a chance to grab me. Snatching the nightgown he’d stripped off me earlier, I yanked it back on in short, jerky movements. “I’m happy with things exactly how they’ve been,” I snapped angrily.
“Well I’m not.” He climbed out of the bed and pulled on his discarded jeans. The king-sized mattress between us might as well have been the Grand Canyon with how far from him I suddenly felt. With three words, he’d stuck a knife right into my heart. “I want more. I want everything. But more than that, I want to give you the same. And, damn it, I want my girl to have you too. She deserves you, Luna. We both do. And you deserve us. How do you not see that?”
“I told you from the very beginning I don’t do relationships.”
He shot back to angry. “Well, I hate to break it to you, honey, but that’s what you’ve been doing with me this whole goddamn time!”
“It isn’t!”
“Jesus Christ,” he snapped, reaching up to rake his fingers through his hair. “I feel like I’m arguing with a goddamn kid.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, an irrational wave of anger slamming into me and threatening to wash me away. Things had been so good between us. Who the hell did he think he was, coming in here and asking for more, ruining something so freaking perfect? “Then maybe you should leave,” I clipped.