“I was leaving on Monday anyway…” I continued chattering nervously. “So, really, we’re only talking about a day. Plus, we both knew from the beginning this had an expiration date. So what if it’s a day earlier?”
“Julia…” He exhaled, shaking his head. I could hear the apology in his tone. The concern. The unease.
The wish for something more.
Something that could never be.
“So, what shall we do tonight?” I asked, my voice bright and chipper as I rebuilt the wall around my heart, brick by heavy brick.
“Maybe dance the night away, get sloppy drunk on wine, then fuck until we pass out from exhaustion? I mean, if it’s our last night together, we should probably go out with a bang. No pun intended. Or maybe the pun is intended.”
My words came out fast and frenzied in an attempt to mask my heartbreak. Act as if this weren’t the devastating news it was.
“Or would you rather—”
Before I could utter another syllable, his arms were around me, pulling me against his body, silencing my outburst. “I hate it, too,” he murmured huskily, his voice pained. “I hate it, too.”
My hands formed into fists as I fought to keep the tears at bay. I wasn’t supposed to cry over this. Over some twenty-seven-year-old I had no business being with.
I shook my head, thinking that would help. That if I simply denied how much this upset me, it would all go away. That my heart wouldn’t feel like it was shattering into a million pieces right now.
But when he tightened his hold on me, his arms achingly perfect as they gave me all the solace and acceptance I’d yearned for my entire life, a fissure formed in my heart, allowing everything to seep out.
“Damn you,” I choked out through the ache in my throat, bringing my fists against his chest as I succumbed to my feelings. “Goddamnyou.”
Cupping my face, he forced my gaze to his, not allowing me to hide from him, even though that was exactly what I wanted to do. His eyes were glossy with his own unshed tears, making it more than apparent this was just as difficult for him.
I peered deep into those azure pools that once were a mystery but had quickly become my solace. My sanctuary. He parted his lips, searching my gaze, his own warring thoughts etched in the hard ridges of his face. I felt his indecision. His confusion. His fear.
My breathing increased as I waited for his next words.
Instead, he crashed his lips against mine, kissing me in a way he never had before.
In a way I feared I’d never be kissed again.
He clung to me as his tongue coaxed my mouth open, treating me to one of my last tastes of this man.
This mysterious, infuriating, incredible man.
“Lachlan,” I panted when he tore his lips from mine.
He pinched my chin, tilting my head back.
I brought my hand to his face, savoring in the roughness of his unshaven jawline against my skin. My heart hammered in my chest at the intensity with which he gazed upon me.
Would I ever have that again?
I couldn’t be sure.
All I did know was that I didn’t want to waste a second of the time we had left. I wanted to experience him in every way possible. In all the ways that had scared me.
Until now.
“I need you to make love to me.”
His eyes searched mine for a moment, words seeming to escape him.
Then he covered my lips once more, stealing my breath.
And my heart.