Chapter 3
‘Poe,why would someone want to buy my toenails?’
Most of Detective Sergeant Washington Poe’s tea squirted out of his nose. The rest he spat over his chin and T-shirt. Beside him, her eyes glued to high-tech binoculars, Detective Inspector Stephanie Flynn sniggered.
It wasn’t the strangest thing Matilda ‘Tilly’ Bradshaw had said to him. It didn’t even make the top five, but without warning or context, it probably crept into his top ten. Maybe number nine. Weirder than when she’d asked him to rank his favourite cloud formations, but definitely not as bad as the time she asked him to check the mole on her bottom.
‘You taking this one, boss?’ Poe sighed, glancing down at his T-shirt. He was down to his last clean one.
Flynn shook her head but kept her eyes trained through the binoculars. Her blonde hair was tied back and it swung like a horse’s tail.
‘Not a chance,’ she said. ‘She asked you, and I’ve just sat through an hour of why I should still be breastfeeding.’
‘Youshouldstill be breastfeeding, DI Flynn,’ Bradshaw said. ‘The World Health Organization is very clear on this: breastfeeding for eighteen months gives babies additional nutrition and illness protection. It helps fight disease all the way through the second year.’
‘Yeah? Well, they aren’t your nipples he’s chewing on.’
‘Are they cracked? Have you tried using breast milk as a moisturiser?’
This time it was Poe’s turn to snigger. Bradshaw had yet to encounter a social situation she couldn’t make more awkward.
‘No, thank you, Tilly,’ Flynn replied. ‘And I’ve spoken to my doctor. He’s quite happy for me to start weaning.’
Bradshaw frowned. Doctors were only one step above dentists, as far as she was concerned. Barely functioning morons.
‘Anyway,’ Flynn continued, ‘weren’t you trying to sell Poe your toenails …?’