Chapter15
Charlotte
“Ah!” I power walk across the hotel lobby, screeching like a wild bird as my three best friends appear in front of me and I pull each one of them into my arms for a hug. “You’re here!”
“We made it. Barely,” Penelope says as she takes off her sunglasses and rolls her eyes. “I had a child behind me on the plane that kept kicking my seat. If I didn’t respect the sacrifice his mother made for him to be alive, I would have pulled his oxygen mask down from the ceiling and used it on him like a muzzle.”
Noelle smacks her. “He wasn’t that bad.”
“Easy for you to say. You were too engrossed in a book with your earplugs in to notice.”
“New author?” I ask Noelle.
“Yes. And a very promising one at that. I haven’t had a book capture me like this one in a long time. I’ll tell you about it later.”
Amelia walks up behind them with a nervous smile on her face. “Hey, Amelia. You okay?”
“Oh, yes. I’m fine,” she stutters, which instantly has me questioning why she’s acting so weird.
“Something happened to our little Amelia Be Delia, but she insists everything is fine. Perhaps you can get her to speak up once we get some alcohol in her system,” Penelope explains.
I shift my sight over to her and notice she’s definitely not acting like herself. “Okay, well, let’s get you checked in first, and I know you all must be hungry.”
“Starving and in need of alcohol,” Penelope replies as I lead them over to the concierge’s desk to receive their keys.
After the girls go to their rooms and get settled in, we all meet down in one of the restaurants for a late dinner. Damien is catching up with one of our other friends from back home tonight since he knew the girls would be arriving, and I’d want to spend time with them.
That’s one thing I appreciate about him that other boyfriends have had a problem with in the past—he understands how important the girls are to me. I don’t feel like I have to justify my decision to see them like I’ve had to with other men. It’s refreshing, and yet another reason that has me contemplating the future of our relationship.
“So, how have things been going so far?” Noelle asks after we place our orders and receive our first round of drinks.
“Um, interesting. My mother has been up to her usual shenanigans, and I’ve just been trying to let her comments roll off my back, although it’s getting harder and harder to do when she keeps bringing Damien into the mix. The poor guy—he probably thinks my mother is going to try marrying us in our sleep.”
“Well, has he told you that it bothers him?”
I shake my head. “No. He’s actually been really great. It’s crazy, but having him here makes me feel like I can handle all of this better, like I’m not handling it alone for once. In fact, he did something last weekend that really surprised me.”
“What did he do?” Noelle asks.
“Well, I had something happen to me that never has before. I…I started my period in my sleep…”
“You’ve never started in your sleep?” Penelope asks incredulously.
“No, I have, but not while I was staying the night at a guy’s place.” They all cringe.
“Oh, God. How embarrassing,” Noelle interjects.
Penelope chimes in too. “I mean, yes, that’s unfortunate, but periods are a part of life. Please tell me he didn’t freak out.”
“No, I was the one who freaked out. I ruined his sheets and locked myself in the bathroom to shower. And then when I emerged, I ran off.”
“So what did Damien do?”
I smile, thinking back on how understanding he was. “Well, he assured me it wasn’t that big of a deal. But then I left in a hurry and it kind of left things awkward between us. I was sure he’d want some space, that maybe what happened was a little too real for our fake relationship. But then he showed up later that afternoon with tampons, my favorite meal from Tony’s, ice cream and Dove chocolates, and Matthew McConaughey rom-com movies.”
“Oh my God,” Noelle squeals, clutching her hands together under her chin. “That is totally something that one of the men in my books would do.”
“Yeah, it sounds too good to be true,” Penelope teases.
“I thought the same thing. But he was so sweet and just held me and fed me chocolates while we watched movies.” I sigh, slinking back into my chair as I take another sip of my drink. “I’m so screwed.”
Amelia finally speaks up. “You finally experienced some intimacy with him,” she says. “And how did it make you feel?”
“Uh-oh, she’s going into therapist mode,” Penelope chides under her breath.
“Stop it,” Noelle shoots across the table at Penelope before directing her eyes back to me. “Answer the question, Char.”
I take a deep breath. “It made me feel like I want this to be real. I was lying there with him in my old sweats, no makeup and hair thrown up, and he stared at me like I was the most beautiful thing on the planet. He’s nothing like I thought he would be, but I’m so scared that I’m the only one that feels this deeply. And last night, he shut down during dinner with everyone, like he became someone else for a little while—silent, retreating, barely saying two words to me. I wonder if all of the pressure of playing this part is getting to him.”
“His actions dictate that you’re not the only one with feelings,” Amelia replies. “But you need to talk to him about it, Char.”
“I know, but part of me just wants to wait until this weekend is over, when we can breathe a little. Besides, my aunt said something to me yesterday that still has my head spinning.”
“What did she say?” Amelia asks.
“She said that the way my mother is with me is the same way their mother was with them—constantly making underhanded comments about their life choices and love lives, pressuring them to get married and watch their figures so they could snag a man. I never knew this and I feel like it explains so much.”
Amelia nods. “It does. But just because that’s how your mother was raised does not mean that she has to perpetuate that cycle.”
“Spoken like a true therapist,” Penelope interjects before turning toward me. “Look, I know you don’t want to make a big scene because it’s your parents’ anniversary and all that, but you need to stand up for yourself, Char. Your mother has beaten you up from the inside out long enough. And as your friend, I’m tired of seeing you put up with it, and it’s getting harder to keep listening to it.”
“Well, I’m sorry if it’s irritating for you, but this entire thing is complicated, Penelope,” I retort, my defenses growing as I instantly feel the need to defend myself to her.
“Hey, I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that, Char,” Noelle interrupts.
“No, I did,” Penelope counters, holding a hand up to our friend. “This bullshit has gone on long enough. And it’s obvious that you have feelings for Damien, so you need to man up and tell the man what you want before you chicken out about that too.”
Standing from my chair, I stare down at one of my best friends, confused, angry, and hurt; hurt that she really feels this way and waited until this moment to tell me how she feels. “You know, just because you don’t have a relationship with your mother doesn’t mean you get to pass judgment on mine, Penelope,” I say. “And secondly, when’s the last time you actually let a guy in longer than it took for him to give you an orgasm?” She narrows her eyes at me. “Exactly. In fact, I know you avoid commitment because you’re too fucking scared to let people in. You don’t even let your parents into your life. So, don’t judge me for how I’m dealing with mine.” I look over at Noelle and Amelia, whose eyes are wide and are bouncing back and forth between Penelope and me. “Sorry, girls, but I think I’m done for tonight.” I say before draining the rest of my drink and walking away.
“Charlotte! Come back,” Noelle calls after me, but the last thing I want is to go back over there.
My pulse is racing as I leave the restaurant and walk along the first path I find, trying to get as far away from my friends as possible at this moment, with no clue as to where this path is going to lead me.
And the irony is, that’s how I feel about multiple facets of my life right now—my relationship with my mother, my relationship with Damien, and now my relationship with my friends.
I have no idea what happens next, and that feeling is far too unsettling for a girl who’s always known what she wants, that is until I let other people’s voices and opinions invade my thoughts.
Well, no more. I’m going to get through this weekend, and then I’m going to make some decisions. I just wish I knew that my friends would be there for me from the possible fallout—and that’s the scariest part of all—I don’t know that they will.
I stride toward the beach, kicking off my flip flops when I hit the sand, carrying them in my hands as I move closer to the water. When I find a spot that seems suitable, I take a seat and pull my knees into my chest, shaking from the anger and sadness the conversation with Penelope ignited.
“Hey.” I look up over my shoulder to find Amelia standing behind me. “Mind if I sit?”
Turning back to stare out over the water, I shrug. “I guess.”
She takes a seat in a similar position and sighs. “Penelope and you will get past this.”
“I don’t know, Amelia. She was pretty clear about how she feels… and it hurts.”