"Yeah, I heard that too. I don’t know what the compound is, but it has a similar trajectory of anabolic steroids, except for the erection thing, of course."
I nodded. "I realized that the guy, Cain, had to have been taking drugs when Da was alive. He’d have had to be careful about how he got his fix. No going to the usual sources. It made me realize something was going on, and I found out—"
"Told you just like that, huh? Sang like a canary?"
Another stoplight was upon us. "What do you want to hear, Savvie? That Brennan beat the shit out of him? That I cut out his tongue for lying to me?"
Her mouth rounded. "You cut out his tongue?" She edged forward. "How did you do that?"
"How do you think? A fucking knife."
"That’s so Old Testament," she drawled. "I like it."
"Of course you would." I shook my head. "Will there come a day where you don’t surprise me, Savvie?"
"Doubt it." She hooted. "Oh, damn, I bet that set the tone well with your men."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean there are always teething issues when there’s a new leader. Always some dipshit who thinks he can upset the apple cart. You dealing with this Cain guy with fire and brimstone will definitely have made them realize you’re not to be messed with."
My hands tightened around the wheel. "You told me that you’d studied our kills from your informant at the morgue."
Her fingers moved to my lap again and gently, she squeezed. "I did. And I also told you that your father’s enjoyment in his kills was clear, whereas it wasn’t in yours. This is different, Aidan. You have to see that.
"If you don’t make a stand now, they’ll think you’re weak and your position will be undermined.
"I understand that you’re going to have to do some not-so-nice things to secure your place as the head of the Five Points."
At first, I wasn’t sure why her compassionate understanding robbed me of my tension, but as I processed it, it became glaringly obvious.
It had made me hopeful when she told me I wasn’t like my father. I’d never aspired to be like him, and following in his footsteps wasn’t something I’d ever particularly craved—perhaps because it was something I’d automatically inherited whether I wanted it or not.
Choice had never been an option for me.
Her faith in me had buoyed me, and…
God.
Did she know what she brought to my life?
My hand dropped to hers and I drew our fingers together, entwining them as I squeezed. "Thank you for understanding, Savannah."
"Has this been bothering you?"
"Maybe."
"You should have talked to me about this sooner. You never have to thank me for being an open ear—"
"What I did was heinous, Savvie. It’s not something you can talk about with your wife over dinner."
"I’m not a regular wife, remember? I was a news reporter. I’m exposing all these Sparrows to the world, and the shit they do is horrific, Aidan. Did you know they were trafficking kids?"
My hand clenched around hers. "I didn’t. Not specifically. But it makes sense. They sold every fucking thing else, why not that too?"
She clucked her tongue. "It’s disgusting."
"You won’t hear me arguing. Remember who you’re talking to."