Thirty-Four
Aoife
The secondI heard Senior’s voice, I cringed. Deep inside.
It was stupid.
Ridiculous.
But I was just waiting to hear Lena. And the reason it was ridiculous was because they were talking business, and just as always, business wasn’t discussed around the womenfolk so it wasn’t like I’d hear her voice anyway.
But the dread was there.
Dread I disliked feeling.
My phone pinged with a text from Jen, but though I recognized the ringtone, I didn’t look at the screen. My focus was too intent on the call, on listening to who was speaking rather than the content of the conversation.
When Finn eventually put the phone down, I realized that I’d been listening to that damn phone call for forty-five minutes.
“Mommy’s getting obsessed,” I told Jake who clambered into my arms when I swooped down to pick him up.
He garbled away at me, totally uninterested in what I was doing, and I hugged him to me, enjoying the feel of him in my arms, the weight of him.
He was so solid.
So strong.
So healthy and alive.
My throat closed as I pressed a kiss to his forehead.
The second I did, he started scrambling to get down, and it was as crazy as me listening to a damn phone call, waiting to see if my husband was lying about cutting ties with the woman who’d raised him better than his own mother had, but my eyes pricked with tears.
I could feel them welling on the lash line, ready to spill over.
Pushing my back against the wall, I let myself droop, let it take my weight as I slid to the ground.
I slipped my arms around my knees and hugged myself while Jake carried on playing at my side, proving that he didn’t want to be far away from me, just didn’t want to be hugged for the millionth time today.
Staring at him, watching him, so goddamn grateful for him, I sucked in a sharp breath after a good ten minutes of doing nothing other than that and reached for my cell phone.
Jen had called and texted me so many times over the past week, but I’d been a shitty friend and had let it go to voicemail and had often ignored her messages.
When Finn’s phone rang again, I knew I’d go insane if I kept on listening to him, so I found Jen’s number and called her.
Her voice was frantic as she hissed, “Where the hell have you been?”
I closed my eyes. “Sleeping mostly.”
“I tried to visit but the doorman said you weren’t in,” she complained.
I bit my lip, well aware that Finn had likely vetoed any visits from friends or family. I couldn’t be angry, though. I just couldn’t be. I didn’t want to see anyone, didn’t even want to talk to anyone.
Not even Finn or Jake.
I wanted to watch them.
Know they were safe. Sound. But I didn’t want to talk.