"Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t." I cleared my throat. "I should go in for a check up."
"Thought you had to go in regularly," Da pointed out as Finn mirrored my position on his desk, much as Eoghan had earlier.
"I do, and I haven’t been."
Da growled. "Dipshit."
"I know." I ducked my head. "It was easier just to pop some pills, but I’m gonna have to do something. The pain’s bad. But... either way, don’t be breaking any surgeon’s knees, okay? It’s not necessary."
Da grumbled under his breath but, otherwise, stayed silent.
"The reason I wanted to talk with you... it’s not about the drugs." Reaching up to rub the back of my neck, I rasped, "Do you remember when Father Doyle went to the Vatican? Finn and I were about fifteen?"
I felt Finn’s tension—didn’t even have to look at him to sense it.
"Jesus, that’s ancient history, boy. What the hell do you want me to be thinking about that for? Wasn’t that when Paddy was—" He swallowed. "When those bastards slaughtered him like he was a fucking pig?"
"Aidan, what are you doing?" Finn asked softly.
"I gotta tell him, Finn. I ain’t got no choice. So much is wrapped up in this story. It’s such a fucking mess."
"What are you two talking about?" Da growled. "Don’t keep me in the dark. Fucking hate that."
"It’s entangled, Da. It’s not that easy to explain."
"Start at the beginning," he said, calmer now, which told me he saw how genuine I was being. None of this was going to be easy to talk about.
"That year, when Doyle was in Rome, there was a priest. McKenna."
"I remember him. Odd." He scowled. "Shifty eyes. What about him?"
For a second, I couldn’t even get the words out, and then I didn’t have to because Finn, in a whisper, said, "He molested Conor."
The office was so silent that I felt like I could hear mine and Finn’s racing heartbeats as if they were a starting pistol. Da’s chair creaked as he rocked back.
"This isn’t some joke that you’re both going to regret when I break your fucking noses for daring to even say that out loud, is it?"
I shook my head. "I wish it were, Da. I wish it were."