Ordinarily, even when I was high, I’d have flipped him the bird. Today? Well, it was too opportune with Kid not being here. As much as I knew he deserved the retribution, I wasn’t sure if I could...
Jesus.
This was one of the few promises I’d made in my life that I’d kept.
He’d begged Finn and I never to tell Da, he’d made us swear. After that day, when Paddy had helped clear up the mess I’d made of that piece of shit, we’d never talked of it again. I’d tried to be there for him, but Kid was Kid. He went his own way, seeming to do that even more so in the aftermath.
Reaching up and rubbing along my bottom lip with my thumb, I rasped, "Da, I need to speak with you alone." I shot Finn a look. "You too."
"Fuck off," Eoghan scoffed. "Ain’t we old enough to hear whatever shit you’ve been up to?"
I cast him a look. "No. You’re not."
Eoghan frowned at me, but the prospect of sharing this with my brothers was... impossible.Heinous. A betrayal to Kid.
Brennan and Declan got to their feet, clambering around me, evidently thinking that would intimidate me into speaking—because, yeah, that’d work on me.
Instead of rolling my eyes, I shot Finn a look. His head tipped to the side with confusion, but he knew I was sending him a message—he just didn’t know what I was saying.
Letting my gaze drift down to Jake, I murmured, "Eoghan, can you take Jake back to Aoife?"
Finn frowned. "She’s baking. I was supposed to entertain him."
"He looks real entertained," I said dryly when I saw him tearing bits of paper apart. Fuck even knew where he’d gotten it from. "Plus, he doesn’t need to hear any of this." My jaw clenched, any amusement fading, and I said to my other brothers, "You need to back off."
"If this is about business," Eoghan growled, "then we have as much right to be here as anyone else."
"It isn’t." I knew then they weren’t going to fuck off. So I lied. "I want to tell Da about what’s been going on with me."
Declan’s brows rose. "Yeah?"
I hummed.
"Why does Finn get to stay?"
I shot him a mocking smile. "Back up?"
Brennan squinted at me. "This sounds like bullshit."
"Well, you spout enough of it," I retorted, "to recognize the smell. Now, fuck off all of you. I just need a half-hour is all. When playtime comes around, you can have fun with us if you want. Or like any goddamn regular person, you can enjoy a pre-Christmas Eve lunch with your women."
Eoghan cleared his throat. "He has a point."
Brennan grunted. "He does." To me, he muttered, "Fucker."
I just smirked at him, then to Declan and Eoghan said, "When you get back there, I brought a guest. Be nice." I was careful not to use pronouns.
"What the hell’s going on, Junior?" Da rumbled as I micromanaged his boys.
Looking at him, I murmured, "I need privacy."
We weren’t the closest, even though I was the eldest and had been around the old bastard the longest. I’d also been at his side for the most time, reared by his own hand as it were. Da was... I almost sighed. He was just Da. Insane, deranged, violent, but I knew he loved me. I knew he loved his boys, it just wasn’t the type of love that another father would understand. Not even one in the life.
His concern was clear though. My words had any festive jollity fading as he said, "Boys, do as your brother asks."
Eoghan, Brennan, and Declan headed out, scowling all the while, with Eoghan grabbing Jake and tossing him around a little which had the kid squealing with joy.
"Your boy likes me better," Eoghan boasted as he grabbed the many tons of layers the kid needed to step foot outside. By the time Eoghan was done dressing him, he looked like a padded starfish.