I scowled at him. “The hell is that supposed to mean? You accusing me of being a pervert or something?”
Bagpipes’ eyes rounded at that, and he gaped at me, long enough for a car to honk their horn at us and for him to swerve off the other side of the road and back onto our lane. “No way am I accusing you of being a pedo, man. Fuck. I just meant, it’s making you have some kind of biological clock malfunction or something.”
“Since when do you even know what a biological clock is?” I grumbled. “And it ain’t got nothing to do with my age.”
“No? Well, at least you admit something funky is going on.”
I gritted my teeth, not liking being questioned, but Forrest, Tinker, and Bagpipes were my friends. Brothers of choice, if not of blood. They had my back, and with the situations I got them into, they deserved to know the full truth. Even if that truth wasn’t all that flavorful.
Reaching up, I rubbed my chin, feeling the beginnings of a beard start to creep in. With Camille’s lips looking like a peach that was still on the tree, I’d never be able to kiss her with stubble. Not without wanting to taint that creamy skin.
The prospect of my cock between her lips, against that molten hot cunt of hers, between her tits, had me reaching down to adjust myself as discreetly as possible.
I’d gotten more than I’d bargained for with that kiss back at the stables. That was for goddamn sure.
Knowing I needed to shift focus before I started waxing fucking poetical about her taste, I muttered, “You’ve met Shay. What do you think of him? Aside from him being a cool kid.”
Bagpipes hesitated, and that hesitation was exactly what I’d banked on. “I mean,” he started, before he cleared his throat. “He’s, you know, cool.”
My lips twisted. “He ain’t Points’ material though, is he?”
Bagpipes winced. “Didn’t want to say nuthin’.”
“Why? I didn’t slice your hand off for insinuating I was a kid fucker. Why would I stab you in the leg for saying exactly how it is where my nephew is concerned?”
Because we pulled up at a red light, Bagpipes shot me a glare. “You make me feel so comforted.”
“Well, that’s my job in life, ain’t it? Not to give you nightmares?” I told him drolly. “But I think we all know getting him involved with the shady side of shit is a fuckfest just waiting to go down. I also don’t think Declan really wants that for him, and I think he’ll either go to loggerheads with Da, or the issue won’t be an issue if Da dies. He’s an old bastard. Can’t live forever.”
Bagpipes scowled as we set off again, the lights changing which heralded a bucket load of horns as we didn’t move fast enough—aka, at the speed of fucking sound.
New Yorkers—Jesus.
Not for the first time, my thoughts drifted back to Ireland.
I’d been there once. One fucking time. But it was like my brain constantly rewired itself and plunked me back there.
To a world where everything was green. Where the rain came down in torrents and made everything sparkle. Where it was a pleasure to tuck yourself away in front of a fire when the weather outside was abysmal. Where life, on the whole, felt so much simpler.
Jesus, maybe Bagpipes was right. Maybe Iwasstarting to get weird.
Maybe I did have a biological clock ticking away.
Forty fucking years on this planet and I didn’t have that much to show for it.
Sure, I rode a Maybach, my place was in Carnegie Hill, and I had enough material possessions to make a Sheikh jealous... but while that might have been enough at one point in my life, it just wasn’t anymore.
I was tired. Of the bullshit, of the life. And things weren’t going to get any better. Not when we had a bunch of Illuminati fuckers sniffing around our assholes, just wondering if they could shove a ten-inch dildo up our asses without us noticing.
Aidan was a liability, Declan’s heart had never been in it, Eoghan and Conor were ripe for action, but they weren’t soldiers like Aidan and Declan were. That meant this entire shit show fell to me. Finn had lost his edge when he’d married Aoife, preferring to ride a desk and get rich by evading taxes, and while that was all grand, it meant that I was the one who had to deal with the mean fucking streets.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, pinching off the pressure at the same time. I wasn’t about to let it get to me, not when there was too much at stake. Ma had had a hard life without things ending like this, and I refused for the family to live in fear of a shadowy organization that pulled strings better than a server pulled pints of lager in a bar.
“Where’s your head at, man?” Bagpipes asked softly. “Why are you going through with this shit?”
“Because I can. Because seeing Shay, knowing that he has a future that has nothing to do with the Five Points apart from familial ties gives me hope that if I have a kid, they don’t have to follow in my fucking footsteps.”
I wasn’t surprised when he fell silent. Wasn’t surprised when I saw he’d blanched a little. What I’d just said was tantamount to mutiny in my family.