The perks of being such a big donor was that I could roll into the stables whenever I wanted, unlike the other volunteers who came in on a rotation.
I took my time, moving down the aisle, treating them all and stroking them, chatting a little with each before I made my way back to Terry who, though I shouldn’t have favorites, was my numero uno.
For a few minutes after my return to his stall, I just stood there, swaying with him as he nuzzled into me.
He was the most affectionate, but Princess Plum was as well—she was more demanding though, always wanting more apples.
Reaching up to fondle his ears, I murmured, “Okay, enough relaxing.”
He neighed like he was in agreement, making me smile as I pressed a kiss to his nose.
Before I went through the motions of setting him up for a ride, I checked my phone, wanting to make sure I hadn't missed Inessa's call.
I wouldn't be surprised if she forgot to phone me when she was in the ER, because I wasn't a priority, but I was pleased to see she'd messaged.
Inessa:At the ER.
Seeing she’d sent that ten minutes ago, I quickly tapped out:Me:Everything okay?
Inessa:Eoghan's raising hell. They keep wanting me to talk to a nurse first. He’s insisting on a doctor. A FEMALE doctor, too. *sighs*
My lips twisted.
Me:As predicted.
Inessa:Yeah. You were right. Not just about that... He was mad I didn't tell him sooner.
Me:Of course he was. He loves you. He wants what's best for you.
Inessa::/ I guess I'm not used to being a priority.
Eyes stinging, I replied:Me:None of us are, malyshka. I'm glad you've found someone who treats you right. <3
Inessa:Thank you, Cammie xx GTG. Doctor's here at last. Eoghan's already started giving her the side eye and she's only just poked her head around the curtain.
Me:LOL. xoxo
Inessa:TTYL xoxo
I tried not to take too much comfort in those 'xoxo's but I did. If I could rebuild my relationship with Inessa, then at least one part of my life would be on track.
With a happy sigh, and now knowing that she was being treated and in her husband's care, I prepped Terry for our ride.
The second we were outside, my butt perched on his hind, my shoulders straightening and my hips turning both loose and relaxed while my core remained engaged as I started to sway with him, I took my first real breath. A deep inhalation and a deep exhalation.
The oxygen flooded my system as I looked around the beautiful Fall day.
The trees had already started to turn, the leaves were a bright red—the ones that remained on the canopies anyway. The grass was green, the sky was blue, and I...
God, why did I just want to cry?
Being alone, being amid nature, not having anyone watching me, the ability to be free, even if it was for a handful of moments... it felt both torturous and delightful.
The land belonged to the stables, one of the few remaining in the area with so much free space to roam. Terry knew all the trails like the old pro he was, so I let him guide me, knowing I’d be safe with him, but not having to focus drew my mind to my circumstances.
“I should never have come back to the city.”
I whispered the words to myself as I let my head fall back, the white clouds so blinding that my eyes stung behind my shades—at least, that was what I told myself.