“It is.” He grunted under his breath. “What time did you agree to meet with Inessa?”
I blinked at the abrupt change of subject. “Six. For Vespers.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry but you have to cancel. I need to intro you to the parents before Sunday lunch tomorrow, otherwise that will just be a whole mess that I can’t deal with on top of this.”
“I understand,” I told him calmly, and I did. “Inessa will get it.”
She might not, but once I explained why Brennan needed me, I figured she’d forgive me, and we could reschedule for next week.
After clearing my throat, I asked, “So, tonight’s the night?”
“It is.” He gritted his teeth. “I’ll be speaking with Da after the meal so that you can get to know them both without him being on edge. Well,” he said with a sigh, “more on edge than usual.”
“I understand.” I patted his leg, wanting to help but knowing that was probably impossible. “Is it really that bad?” I asked cautiously. This world we lived in, caution didn’t favor the brave. It favored the smart—and that meant keeping your nose out of things that didn’t concern you. He probably didn’t realize the trust I showed in him by even bothering to ask.
He didn’t answer for the longest time. Long enough for me to think I should just get off the bed. I had things to do if I was going to meet his parents today—I needed to find them a gift to take to their house, and I had to plan what I was going to wear. We also needed to discuss whether we were selling our marriage as a love match or something of convenience.
Just as I started to cringe inside at having the head of the Irish Mob peer down at me like I was a dog turd he’d trod in tonight, Brennan rasped, “We’ve been having issues with people who’ve been betraying the Points, Camille.
“This isn’t something I should share with you, but the people closest to the O’Donnellys might have been compromised so I need you to listen to me when I tell you to watch yourself.”
“You think someone on your personal guard might be compromised?” I asked on an exhalation, easily picking up on what he meant.
He shrugged, but I saw his hurt, registered it in the miserable slant to his mouth as he grimaced. “I—” Brennan released a breath. “No one is what they seem. Not anymore. I promised to protect you. Not just to Mariska, but yesterday... my vows meant something to me. I might not be the good Catholic boy my da wishes I was, but vows matter.
“I want your trust. Your loyalty. But sometimes, I’m going to test both. I can’t tell you why I ask you to do something, or why I ask you not to, you just have to know that I won’t do it unnecessarily.” I stared at him long enough for him to sigh and mutter, “I know that’s a big ask.”
“It is considering we don’t know each other well enough for me to understand your judgment calls, but...” I sighed, and even though I knew any feminist around would want to strangle me, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel here. A light that hadn’t been there before.
Sex was temporary.
I knew that from Nyx.
Sex would keep a man interested only for so long before the promise of some other pussy, another pretty ass and a good set of tits had them sniffing around like the horn dogs they were.
Thiswas tangible.
This offered more than I could have hoped for.
“But?” Brennan prompted, his hands balling into fists.
“But we both went into this with open eyes, and eventually, when we want children, I would like for us to seem happy, to be a team when it comes to raising them. I’ll trust you, Brennan, if you’ll show me the same esteem in return.”
His eyes narrowed on me. “So, you’re going to do this for the kids we haven’t had yet. For kids we may never have?”
“Why wouldn’t we?” I questioned warily.
“Life happens. Biology and health aren’t always on our side.”
Everything inside me clenched down with horror at the thought of being sterile or having issues like Mama. In this world, my worth depended on my ability to have children. I wasn’t a regular woman. IVF or adoption weren’t routes made men were willing to traverse.
Feeling sick to my stomach with fear for something I had no control over, and wishing I could just be normal, miserably I whispered, “I suppose not... but yes. For those future children, I’ll do this.”
“You’re a lot more generous than I am.”
The twist of my lips was rueful. “I didn’t grow up with parents who loved each other.”
“You think my folks were like the Von Trapps?” He snorted. “They loved each other for sure, but I grew up with clipped ears and—” A breath gusted from him. “Never mind.”