He heaved a sigh. “Mom always cares.”
“Yeah, and aren’t you lucky she does?” Declan pointed out, making me smile inwardly.
He was a clever one. I liked that. I liked that he made Seamus see how fortunate he was without me having to do a damn thing. It wasn’t that I wanted my kid to be grateful, because ever since he’d hit his teenage years, that was as hard as asking him to find world peace amid the laundry that collected on his bedroom floor.
But it brought perspective, and I was all for that.
I had high hopes for my son. Not because I needed him to be a politician or a lawyer or someone that mattered in the world. But because he wanted that. He was too bright a spark to just waste, and sometimes, when I looked at him, he gave me hope.
The future was dark. When I looked at him? He was a lightbulb that fizzled in and out, giving me a promise that things would get better if there were enough kids out there like him who cared.
“Yeah,” Seamus admitted sheepishly. “I’m lucky.”
Declan hummed. “My ma didn’t ask if I was okay to go to school with my guard.”
Shay frowned. “Why didn’t she? Didn’t she care?”
Lena and Aidan were the strangest parents in the world. Everyone knew how they felt about their sons. They’d kill for them. They’d break bones to make sure they were safe. But that wasn’t my idea of love.
“She cared,” Declan murmured, “but they wanted me to be strong. They wanted me to be independent.”
“Can’t exactly be independent at twelve,” I interjected softly, knowing that was the age he’d been tossed into the shark pool.
He shrugged. “Nope.” His smile was rueful.
Seamus didn’t understand the time reference—why would he?
Peering between us, he heaved another sigh. “Okay, Mom, you can take me to school.”
I snorted because he sounded so long-suffering that I joked, “Oh, you’ll let me grace you with my presence, huh?”
Sure, I wanted to bone his dad like I’d just taken some Viagra, but these days were impossible to replace.
When he grinned at me, the cheeky little monkey, it was like he was five again. “Yep, I’ll let you.”
But his shoulders weren’t hunched, and he wasn’t scowling at his breakfast.
I had to sigh.
He’d wanted me to be there. But he thought he was too old for it.
I gulped.
This was down to Declan.
I shot him a grateful look, and his lips quirked at the corner, even as warmth filled his eyes.
Goddamn, he was so getting lucky today. Something he registered, because he gritted his teeth and focused on his breakfast, but not before I saw the banked inferno that flickered between us like someone had just set fire to all the goddamn paper walls in the penthouse.
Of course, two hours later, one kid dropped off at school, and a pussy justdyingfor Dec’s dick, I wanted to scream when I walked inside and found the place empty.
What the hell?
Where was he?
I looked in all the rooms, trying to see if I could find him before I gave up, registering that he’d been called into work.
I’d saved the kitchen until last because he wasn’t the kind of guy to sit there without someone else in it. The kitchen was his mother’s place, so it figured he’d associate that with her, with women, and not necessarily with comfort. Especially if it was empty.