Conor’s statement had me flinching, but Brennan shook his head. “No. This makes much more sense. Fine line between love and hate.” Brennan popped his jaw to the side. “Let’s just hope he makes it through to see his kid, huh?”
My throat tightened. “He will, Brennan, won’t he?” My hand snapped out, and I grabbed his, my fingers slipping between his digits as I clung to him. Desperate for reassurance.
“You still love him,” Brennan observed, his surprise evident.
“Never stopped, never will.”
He whistled under his breath. “How did you two fuck this up so much?”
I tugged at his hand. “He’ll live, won’t he?”
“I don’t know, littlelaoch, but I’m praying he does.”
“What happened?”
His face softened, even as, etched into his expression, I saw his guilt. “He got shot. But he didn’t get the brunt of it. We lost a lieutenant.”
With my spare hand, I ran it over my face, digging into my eyes. “He has to live.” Guilt speared me. I’d been terrified of the day Seamus would learn of his father, but now? I was more scared that my son would never know his father at all.
I’d denied him that. Denied Declan the chance of knowing what a wonderful boy Seamus was too.
There’d been reasons, justifications, but they paled into nothing now.
He sighed, got to his feet, and ran his fingers over my head. “You always were a good girl, Aela. I’ll be rooting for you.”
When he left, I stared down at my feet. Being surrounded by women and men in love was like pouring salt in my wounds. Amaryllis had three men who evidently worshipped the ground she walked on, Eoghan had actually fallen for his bride—whether he realized it or not, the dipshit—and here I was, sitting and pining for a man who’d never loved me, worrying over a future we might never have together.
One where Seamus wouldn’t be a bastard.
Because, if Declan survived this, I knew there’d be wedding bells—whether or not I had to be dragged to the altar.
I had an O’Donnelly boy for a son, that meant my wishes had no sway in the matter.
And for Seamus? I’d do it. Even if his father hated me, I’d make it work.
I had no choice.
Fate had come calling, at long last, and I had no choice but to heed it.