Family…it was one thing these heathens truly valued.
“What’s his name?”
“Seamus.”
His eyes glinted. “Grandda’s name.”
I dipped my chin. “Had to honor him somehow, didn’t I?”
That was the wrong thing to say. “You could have let him be a part of the boy’s life.”
“And drag him into this world?” I snarled, suddenly loaded with too much emotion I didn’t know how to process.
Ever since Finn had received the text, I’d been seeing the world as though I was looking through a filthy windshield.
Two men down. We’re here. Talking to Ma.
That, complete with a live location, had been it. All the information we’d fucking received. When Finn had read that aloud, he hadn’t expected Amaryllis, Inessa, and me to rush to the elevator and stir into action.
With Aoife fast asleep, Jacob dozing against her breast, I’d known who his priority was—and quite rightly so—and had seen he wouldn’t stop us, even if, as the elevator doors had closed on us, he stated, “Text me with more information the second you have it.”
The thought prompted me to say, “You need to text Finn. He’s worried.”
Eoghan scowled at me, but he drew out his cell and tapped off a message as he ground out, “Where’s Seamus?”
“He’s safe,” I repeated.
“You know this changes everything.”
I did.
I really did.
And maybe I was ready for that. Maybe, even as I was terrified about what the future might hold, I needed this to be over with. I was tired of looking over my shoulder, tired of hiding Seamus away like he was a dirty secret.
He wasn’t dirty.
He was my world. My everything.
I blew out a breath. “I need him not to die, Eoghan.”
“You do? How the fuck do you think we feel—”
“Not like me. I love him. Always have,” I whispered. “I even let him come between Deirdre and me.”
Eoghan tensed at that. “He cheated on her?”
“Yeah.” My gaze was wary, miserable, and loaded with shame as I cast him a look. “I know, I’m a slut.” My words were wooden. “But Deirdre was—”
“I know what she was. A pain in the fucking ass.” His jaw tensed. “I wasn’t going to call you a slut.”
“Why not? He called me that.”
Eoghan hissed out a breath. “Fucking dumbass.”
My lips curved into a sad smile. “That sounds about right.” Tension filled me when Declan’s eyes finally fluttered to a close. Even in the daze of drugs, he’d known me, he’d seen me, and he’d smiled at me.
Smiled like when we were together back when I was seventeen. Smiled like I made the world spin for him and him alone.