Fifteen
Aela
“Do you think he’ll die?”
I’d spent so many years terrified of Declan, so many years petrified that he’d find me, that he’d catch up with me, that to think I could be free of him wasn’t the release I’d anticipated.
I’d always loved him, even if I’d always been terrified of him.
Of the life.
Of his world.
And this was why I’d done what I had. This was why I’d taken Seamus to Ireland, why I’d stayed with my grandparents, who’d disapproved of my unwed state, and who’d made me feel like shit for being a slut. A slattern, as my grandma had called me.
I’d dealt with it to keep my baby safe.
But I’d been stupid. So stupid to come home, to return to the States. I should have known my past would catch up with me. Should have known there was no escaping fate.
“I don’t know.”
Eoghan’s voice was stern, and I couldn’t blame him. I knew what the O’Donnellys were like with family—insane—and that was why I’d lied to Declan all those years ago.
They’d never have let me out of the fold, would have forced us to marry, and I couldn’t have that.
Deirdre had been my best friend, and I’d betrayed her. Declan had too. And it hadn’t just been once. I’d been his side piece for over a year.
Even now, shame filled me.
Deirdre had wanted too much from Declan, had expected too much. But the only reason she’d been sneaking around that day, the day she died, the only reason she’d been following Declan, was because she suspected he’d been fucking around on her.
He had.
But she’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and had paid for our betrayal with her life.
As far as I’d managed to piece together, she’d intercepted a drug deal Declan was orchestrating—the other guy had seen her, and had shot her first, thinking she was a cop.
The second our eyes had met over Deirdre’s coffin, I’d known that any affection he’d had for me had turned to hate, so the next time I saw him, a few months down the line when he’d asked me if I was pregnant—we’d had a condom scare a week before Deirdre’s death—I’d told him I’d had an abortion.
That was when hatred had turned into something else.
For a second, I could remember being terrified he’d kill me, then he’d walked away, and before he could return, I’d run off.
And I hadn’t stopped running until I was in Ireland.
Eoghan’s hand wrapped around my arm. “Aela,” he snapped, jolting me when he shook me slightly.
I realized he’d been talking to me for a while, but I hadn’t processed a damn word.
Blinking up at him with dazed eyes, I muttered, “What?”
“Where’s the child?”
“He’s safe.”
“He?” He gulped. “I have a nephew?”
“Yeah, you do,” I whispered, kind of touched by how affected he was.